


Am I dead?

by Effystar



Category: The Avengers (2012), phlint - Fandom
Genre: Clint Feels, F/M, M/M, Poor Clint, Warning: Loki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-07
Updated: 2013-03-07
Packaged: 2017-12-04 14:16:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 37,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/711649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Effystar/pseuds/Effystar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint is going back to stark tower but something isn't right...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The beaten Hawk

Clint sighed as he finally made it to the elevator at stark tower, still caked in the dirt and dried blood from today's "assignment", every part of his body ached…how did this happen! His mind took him back to the fight, how did this Fucking happen, looking around Tasha wounded, cap was protecting her as much as he could, stark kept flying over head getting rid of the airborne problem, his Quiver was malfunctioning (thanks Stark!) and all he kept thinking was were the fuck was Banner!

"Good Evening Agent Barton" J.A.R.V.I.S brought Clint back into the room,

"I wouldn't call it good Jarvis" Clint grumpily stated.

For once Clint had beat the team back to the tower, which never happens…EVER, instantly he's adopting the fighting stance bow and arrow at the ready…. how did he get here first, how did a NY Taxi cab beat stark! His eyes dart to every corner of the room searching for anything…anyone.

He slowly starts to make his rounds of the house when he starts hearing it…. running water…coming from his 'Nest", he looks at the Jarvis panel on his door and sees if he can make sense of any of the mumbo on there, his finger brushes the AI's screen

"How can I help you agent Barton?" Jarvis enquires

SHIT SHIT SHIT Clint curses himself way to be covert Barton..he kicks in the door looking around….nothing there.

"Agent Barton your bath is ready"

Clint slumps down after hearing Jarvis, "I need a vacation Jarvis"

he throws his quiver and bow on the floor and heads into the now steamed up bathroom, "when the fuck did stark add this helpful feature",

he starts to undress readying his body for the heat of the bath, he can never fully relax not in his line of work he thinks as he places his knives by the bath…just incase.

Barton finally slips into the bath the hot water soaking over his entire body, finally he feels every muscle relax , the dirt finally being soaked off and he sighs

"this is the life" he says out loud before plunging under the water to soak his hair and get the dried blood off his face.

He sunk even lower in the bathtub until he was comfortable and for the first time in weeks he finally drifted to sleep.

Suddenly he jumped up grabbing a knife from the tub, groggy he realized that the bath water was ice cold, "it was just a nightmare calm down your back home" he thought to himself as he got out of the tub and draped a towel around his waist. He waltzed up to the mirror checking his bruises and wounds from hours before.

"Jarvis, where is everyone?" he asked trying to not show the fear in his voice. "Searching.."

"Some supercomputer" Clint thought, I might as well use google" by the time he made it to the fridge he realized he had been home alone for almost 2 hours, something wasn't right.

"Agent Barton I am unable to track the wear abouts of the team" Jarvis chimed in.

"Fuck where is everyone" he picked up the phone and started to dial when the other line rang…. "Hello" static loudly played in his ear "what the fuck is going on Clint thought" then he heard it….very quiet but he heard it whispers then line went dead, what is going on am I imagining this…am I dead? He pondered.

Clint shook his head trying to expel that thought and grabbed the equipment from earlier from his floor and threw on his S.H.I.E.L.D sweats and shirt and headed for the door "Jarvis alert me if anyone comes home" he yelled as the elevator doors closed. Some thing just wasn't right.

He grabbed his COM piece out of his pocket and jammed it in his ear, hoping to hear something…anything. All he heard was crackles of nothing and then all of a sudden "Agent B-r-ton com- in,-Ge-t Bar-on" the feed kept breaking up but he knew that voice straight away, "I'm here " he said hoping to get some sort of reply "5th a-d Ma-ison, come to 5th and Madison" finally the com was clearing up and he jumped in the closest cab he could find and headed to where he was told.

The Taxi smelled like vomit and old dog and the driver wouldn't stop asking him questions about the Avengers and Tony Stark "the greatest man alive" Clint just rolled his eyes and kept his eye out for anything suspicious. The taxi came to a halt and he jumped out throwing $50 in the cabbies lap and rushing for the door.

Throwing open the door he had his bow at his side but was ready to use it if he needed too, the room was empty all be it for a pile of beer cans in the centre. Clint walked around quizzically opening the doors of the rooms around him when he felt a arm slip around his waist, tensing up ready to flip who ever it was over his shoulder he grabbed on to the arm with a vice like grip.

"How did you get here so fast Barton, that cabbie must of liked you"

He relaxed, that voice was stirring something in him "Hey what can I say, i'm a very likeable guy' he retorted. He turned around to face the person he was speaking to, those eyes he could get lost in "what is going on boss, where is everyone? Why is Jarvis unable to find everyone? Is Tasha okay?"

Suddenly he was pulled into a hug, the warmth from it made him bury his head in his neck and inhale his scent.

"Barton, all the avengers have been given time off…clearly you didn't get the memo" he chuckled.

"Dammit, I guess ill get to packing and head to the Caribbean," he paused and then started to blush "you wanna come with me Boss? Or are you not included in the time off"

"Barton I'm your handler, I'm supposed to stick to you like glue" he touched Clint's chin and lightly kissed him.

"Well let me say that I'm glad that Fury picked you and not Agent Sitwell", he returned the kiss.

"Lets get out of here Barton" as he said that agent Coulson grabbed the archers hand and walked towards the waiting town car.


	2. The getaway cut short

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint and Coulson have a much needed vacation....

As soon as they got in the car he had edged up to Phil and fallen asleep on his shoulder, being in a S.H.E.I.L.D car meant that he could easily drift into a deep sleep with out keeping his guard up. He felt Phil put his arm around him and continually stroke his shoulder, almost as if to remind Clint that he was there.

The next thing that he heard was Phil thanking someone and a door closing, he opened his eyes and realized that he was in a bed, confused he sat up rubbing his eyes.

"Nice of you to join us Barton" Phil joked "Not that I minded carrying you onto the airplane but I think they thought you were drugged"

"Wher-where are we" he sleepily asked "you carried me? How long have I slept for?" Looking around he realized the sun and the fact that the French doors were open letting in a cool breeze, he could smell all the fresh fruit that was laid out on the table in the next room, so he stretched and got out of bed.

Phil walked over putting his arm around Clint's waist "well you said you needed a vacation, Welcome to Belize" he said while gesturing to the open windows " And of course I carried you, you were so peaceful and clearly you needed the rest, and 8 hours….any more questions or can we relax"

Wow 8 hrs Clint thought guess he really was exhausted, looking out the window at the yellow sand and then over to Phil who for once wasn't wearing a suit all he could do was smile.

"You like what you see?" Phil was being sarcastic as he caught Clint eyeing him up, Phil enjoyed watching his face go the color of the strawberries on the table.

"Babe I'm just confused by how this all happened, I mean less than 10 hours ago myself and the avengers were fighting and now I'm here and I haven't heard from any of them" Clint suddenly realized he had never used the word babe in front of Phil and started fidgeting and could face looking at him.

Phil handed over his Iphone trying to catch his eye "call them, Tasha will be glad to hear from you" he made sure you brush Clint's hand as took the phone just to create some fun "ill be in the ocean when your done" he started walking out the door "and I expect you to join me agent" he said as his foot hit the sand and he was off.

Clint typed in Romanoff into the Iphone and a number popped up and he hit call , after a few rings and Clint pacing around the room she picked up "Coulson, are you with Clint? Is he okay?"

Clint laughed down the phone "Hey Tasha, your in the infirmary and yet you worry about me, that's why I love you" you could hear the smile in his voice, after everything in his life he had been through Tasha would always be there for him, he saved her life and she saved him but beneath all the 'I owe you' bullshit there was a genuine friendship and if it wasn't for his particular liking for dick, they would have been married years ago.

"I love you too, and don't worry about me I am fine" you could hear the wincing in her voice as she sat up in the bed "So Coulson got his way with you then? He mentioned he wanted to whisk you away at some point"

He couldn't stop smiling, looking out the open window watching Phil swim in the ocean, he realized how badly he wanted to be out there with him. "Well I'm glad your okay…I uh…I..gotta go…duty calls" he said clearly distracted by Phil's body glistening in the sun

Natasha laughing down the phone "Okay big boy, stop drooling and have fun, see you when you get back" 

Clint hit the end button on the call and rushed out to join his man on the beach, kissing him softly on the lips when they met up. "All good sir, any more orders you would like me to follow?" he asked with a childish grin brandishing his face.

Phil laced his hands through the archers blonde hair and roughly kissed him back " Well Agent, there is always fun to have in the ocean" he winked running into the water looking back at Clint's shocked face.

Clint could get used to this, but In the back of his head shield training was making him survey the beach for any threats, he shook his head making his mind stop over thinking and ran into the water to join Phil.

"You took your time, were you thinking of disobeying orders Barton" Phil giggled as he splashed Clint with water and then sunk under the water to enjoy the cool water.

Clint just smiled and realized how laid back the forever stressed Coulson was being, he liked to see this side of him, so carefree. He grabbed Coulson's waist and pulled him close kissing his neck "I could really get used to this, how about we quit our day jobs?"

"You call our jobs "Day" jobs I call them life" Phil chuckled, but in the back of his head he knew it was true, Fury only allowed him and Clint the time off if they were fully accessible by S.H.E.I.L.D helicopters incase they were needed back in the real world. Knowing there luck this holiday would be cut short before the fruit even got eaten. Fuck it Coulson thought I have to enjoy what's in front of me, muscles and all!

"What are you giggling bout Phil? Are you keeping secrets? Cuz I am trained in ways to get them out" Clint moved his hand down to the top of Phil's swim shorts and ran his finger across him making his muscles spasm from being tickled and aroused. "I have very good skills, Phil, very good!" Clint whispered in his ear and turned him around kissing his collarbone and neck.

Phil couldn't help but let out a moan, looking down at the glistening muscles on his man, finally they were able to enjoy each other and he was enjoying every second. "Oh I believe it agent, but my question is how long can you hold your breath for" he smirked and clearly Clint got the hint as he started moving his kisses down Coulson's body casually looking up to see if his 'handler' approved, and he did.

Clint was enjoying this, he kept looking up as he knew it would drive Coulson crazy, he didn't need to look at Phil's face to know that he was enjoying it, he moved his hand down into the water and on to Phil's crotch feeling his engorged member trying to break free. "Sadly I am no hulk and I think I may drown but we could pick this up in hotel room" he said while nipping on the skin just peeking over the top of Phil's swim shorts.

Phil's entire body shuddered at the nibbling act that Clint was doing and grabbed his arm and made him stand up and practically dragged him back to the hotel room throwing his wet body on the bed and ripping his wet shorts of his body and throwing them on the floor beside his own and he jumped on the bed and kissed Clint so roughly running his hands through his hair, working his way down the archers chiseled body paying close attention to all the new bruises and scars almost like he was mentally logging all of them. How could someone so beautiful come with so many scars and bruises he thought to himself until he reached Clint's groin where his member stood to attention, he smiled and began tracing the tip with his tongue.

Clint took a sharp breath in he had been waiting for this for far to long he felt Phil's mouth engulf the rest of his shaft and he couldn't help but fidget he closed his eyes and got lost in the feeling of the warmth on him. Phil didn't seem to miss a beat you could tell that he wanted this as much as Clint did, not before long Clint was clenching up ready to release,

Phil loved this part because he could see all of the chiseled muscles tightening as he took his man to the next level. Phil swallowed hard and looked up at his archer, glistening with sweat, "See I know exactly how to make you happy" he said

Clint just let out an inaudible noise of pleasure and kept his eyes closed as Phil laid his head on his chest, he made sure to wrap his arm around him as a meager attempt to say thanks.

Next thing the two of them heard was J.A.R.V.I.S which awoke Clint suddenly as he thought he could of dreamt this whole adventure, "Agent Coulson and Agent Barton, Director Fury is on the line" Phil let out a depressing sigh and said "thank you Jarvis, patch him through" he knew this meant the end of there escape from the real world.

Clint got up and threw on some clothes feeling nervous that some how S.H.E.I.L.D was watching them, and Phil seemed to follow suit looking like an upset puppy.

"Agents, Sorry to bother you during your time off but we have a little issue, Banner is still missing, Rogers and Stark have tried tracking his location but haven't been able to" Fury's voice seemed to boom through the house,

Clint just sighed running his hand through his hair "And you expect an Assassin and a handler to be able to find him better" he looked over at Phil with a look as if to say sorry for the sarcastic comment but he wasn't kidding how could they help any more than the Playboy, Millionaire?

Phil walked forward almost like he was in the same room as Fury "Director, Agent Barton does have a point, as much as I know about Banner I was assigned more to Hawkeye's case , I don't see how I can help" as he was talking about Clint he walked up to him and nuzzled his neck, he could feel Barton tense, with him never being one for PDA's in front of the shield team he started to back away.

"Agents this isn't a would you like to come back to New York this is a in 2 hours a Shield helicopter will be there to take you back to New York so start packing" the line went dead and Jarvis stated that the call had been ended on Fury's end.

Clint looked over at Phil who still had a sad puppy face on him, "Well at least we got some time to our self and hey we still have 2 hours, and its my turn to make you happy" he said with a smile in his voice and he headed to the bathroom to turn on the shower "we are very dirty Coulson and I think we need to clean off, don't you" he winked over at Phil who's face immediately broke out into a smile.

"Jarvis please can you alert us when the shield helicopter is 45 mins out?" Phil looked up as if to actually see the AI

"As you wish Agent Coulson" Jarvis responded

Phil followed his archer into the shower and was pinned up against the wall by him, the strength in that mans arms turned him on beyond belief, with the warm water running down Clint's back he started to make his way down Coulson's body.

"You are very dirty" Clint said while looking up at Coulson while he was on his knees in the shower "let me clean you off" he proceeded to take all of Coulson in his mouth teasing his tip with his tongue, making sure to take his time and pay attention to how his body was reacting to each movement.

Coulson let out a moan as his heart started pounding more "GOD DAMMIT CLINT" he screamed out, how can this man be so good with his hands and his mouth, he ran his fingers through the archers hair and grabbed on using his hands to create a rhythm and then he feels his entire body start to clench up and Clint reacts to this and moves faster. Coulson releases himself in the archers' mouth and on his face, he pulls the archer up and steals a rough kiss and whispers in his ear "you always know how to get me dirtier".

They both relax under the warmth of the shower water and ponder what they are going to do about Banner, leaving the shower they dry off and get back into there uniforms. Clint zips up his leather vest over his black t-shirt and then goes to help Phil fix his tie "It's like were married" he chuckles, " why are there no kids running around yet". As soon as those words leave his mouth he feels like he's over stepped the line, his stomach is already beginning to twist and he starts to walk away with out saying anything else when Jarvis finally breaks the silence.

"Agents your chopper is here"

So much for our 45 min warning thought Phil grabbing his pack from the bed, it wasn't even touched. One day he will get a full vacation with Barton, like one where he can actually open his suitcase. Barton grabs an apple, his bow and quiver and heads for the door hoping that Phil will ignore the last stupid comment he made….even if a part of him does want it.

He spends most of the helicopter ride staring into space dreaming of his wedding…to Agent Coulson.


	3. Back to New York

The helicopter ride seemed to take forever, every so often Phil would look over at his archer, he seemed stressed already, dammit Fury! Couldn't he of left them for at least a day in paradise! He could already tell that Clint was back in what he called 'Avenger mode" eyes darting all around surveying the city.

By the time they landed on Stark Tower Clint knew something was wrong, through the window he saw Stark and Cap arguing, and he could of sworn Tasha was there, typical she can never rest!

"Mr. Stark, Agent Coulson and Barton have arrived" Jarvis stated. This didn't seem to stop any of the yelling.

"And you call yourself a genius Stark, our mission was simple and yet you keep fucking it up" Cap angrily snapped shoving his finger in the mans face

Wow Cap is swearing Barton thought this must be serious

Stark just seemed to let the insults roll off him "It's not like I can just put Banners name in Google, then again I doubt you even know what that is, you pretentious fuck!"

Barton and Coulson were just standing there in shock, what was going on with the team! Out of the corner of his eye Barton saw Tasha, looking as white as Loki's skin and rushed to her side.

"I thought I told you to look after yourself…you look like shit" Barton had never been able to lie to her, he touched her face feeling the fever. "You need to rest" and with that he scooped her up in his arms, being as careful as he could and put her down on the couch.

"Barton, I…I have to listen, I need to help…" Tasha's voice just sounded as exhausted as she looked "I'll be fine"

Clint just draped a blanket over her and watched her snuggle up on the couch. Now that was dealt with he turned his attention back to the matter at hand.

Even though Coulson knew he was a handler he hated dealing with shit like this, he wedged himself between the two arguing hero's "Mr. Stark, Captain Rogers please explain to me how this argument is helping us find the Doctor?" he asked trying to defuse the situation. Both the hero's stopped dead in there tracks and looked at him. "Now lets work on a plan to get the Doctor back as I would like to go back on vacation" he stated as his eyes flicked up to meet the archers.

"Honestly Agent, I don't now why Fury called you and your lovebird back to New York" Stark smiled as he saw the Hawk shift uncomfortably…did he really think that no one knew about their relationship. " How can an assassin help us, I mean see how much help Tasha is" Stark pointed over to the now sleeping Widow " I doubt he made you come all this way to break up a fight".

Clint let out a sigh " Look Stark as much as I don't want to be here, Fury ordered me to come here, plain and simple" Barton snapped

" And the Agent clearly has no free will, always doing as your told must get boring, hopefully you have more of a backbone in bed" Stark spat turning his attention to Coulson trying to get some sort of reaction.

Coulson had to hold back the urge to punch Stark in the face, as Barton seemed to be getting redder with anger he felt his involvement would just make matters worse. "Stark that was unnecessary, we are all here to help find the Doctor" Stark just chuckled "do you always fight the Hawk's battles Phil?

With in a flash two arrows imbedded themselves in the wall behind Stark "Always out to get a reaction, to create chaos. HERE IS YOUR CHAOS STARK" Clint spat.

"ENOUGH" Cap shouted "I am not about to watch two of my team members kill themselves over a petty fight, we have more important issues to deal with"

Barton walked over to the wall to retrieve his arrows "Remember Stark, I meant to miss, next time you many not be so lucky, perhaps an accident while on assignment" he said through gritted teeth.

"Jarvis can you bring myself and Agent Barton up to speed on the task at hand" Phil knew this would be the only way to get his archer focused again.

"Certainly Sir" the screen in the room jumped to life, Banners SHEILD file popped up with all his work. " The Doctor was last spotted entering the Casablanca Hotel in Times Square" Jarvis played the recording of Banner entering.

"Pricey digs" said Clint "so he just disappeared, did he check in?" Jarvis cut to the CCTV of the check in desk, Banner was nowhere to be seen.

"We believe someone hacked the CCTV feed at the hotel" Stark chimed in walking up to the screen "notice the disappearing mug"

Both the Agents saw what Stark had pointed out "Someone simply cut out the time that Banner was there?" Phil questioned "What has he got himself into?" he ran his hands over his face knowing he wouldn't be back in paradise any time soon.


	4. The mission alone

As night began to fall over New York the team realized that they weren't anywhere closer to finding the Doctor. Stark had Pepper bring the strongest coffee she could find and pick up some pain pills for Natasha. Pepper walked past the arrow holes in the wall " were you redecorating or winding up a certain archer?" she asked as she passed him his coffee "Black coffee, black like your soul Tony" she joked while stealing a kiss from him. "So I shouldn't be expecting you to join me tonight in bed" Stark groaned she could tell he as exhausted.

"Unless the Doctor suddenly walked through that door" he gestured at the towers main entrance "I will be here all night" sadness washed across his face.

The elevator doors in the room sprung to life, the entire team was at the ready, weapons drawn, even Natasha was sitting up with her gun. "Jar…vis?" Tony questioned as the doors opened.

"Lt Col Rhodes is here to see you " Jarvis stated.

"Stark I am going to shoot and arrow into that thing!" Clint relaxed his bow dropping to his side

"Woah! A welcoming party, you shouldn't have" Rhodey joked "It's late, your all on edge..now would this happen to be about Bruce Banner" he said while holding up the manila folder in his hands " I thought this may be important and as we don't have a Jarvis at the Air Force yet I have to hand deliver it"

Stark Chuckled "Yet? Rhodey you guys don't deserve one" grabbing the file and throwing its contents on the table in front of the team.

"These were taken at La Guardia airport and hour ago" Rhodey chimed in giving Stark a disapproving look.

"Hate to ask the obvious but why didn't Jarvis pick up on this and what the fuck is up with the Doc's eyes." Barton pointed at the blackened circles that were in place of Banners usual green eyes. " That's one hell of a pupil dilation". The team all looked at the photo and noticed the same thing. "Do we know where the Doc was heady, Rhodey?" Stark enquired.

"Beirut, any reason why you think he would head there?" Rhodey looked at the team hoping one of them could have a feasible answer for him.

"Weapons" Natasha broke the silence "wasn't that one of the places that Obadiah sent Stark industries weapons too?" She questioned Stark as his brow furrowed.

"So what your saying is one of the smartest scientists in en-route to a weapon filled country and he could be under some drug, Oh and we cant really stop him because if he gets angry he turns into the not so jolly giant…Am I missing anything?" Rhodey didn't seem too happy as he was stating what everyone in that room was dreading.

"Well I guess we get to go to Beirut" Cap stated, grabbing his suit "lets get suited and head out, Stark we may want to get a god on our side, want to get Thor and ma'am" He looked over at the widow "your staying put, we need you rested" Tasha knew he was right and nodded at him.

Coulson knew this was serious and started grabbing any files he may need when his Iphone started buzzing in his pocket.

Fury…he sighed

"Director Fury, we have a location on the missing doctor and are about to depart" Phil was trying to keep everything to his training, but he wasn't expecting this response.

"Thank you Agent, Stark let me know precise location and Agent Sitwell is already on route please give all the pertinent files to the Captain Rogers and you can sit this one out" Phil's mouth dropped open "Sir?, sit this one out?" he looked up at Barton as he was counting his arrows, trying not to show the disappointment in his face.

"I'm sorry Agent, did I stutter you will report back to HQ as soon as the helicopter has left, and that Agent Coulson is an order" Fury replied angrily.

Phil's voice shook as he responded "Yes Sir"

Fury ended the call and Phil stood up from the table and handed Cap the files, Cap gave him a quizzical look.

"Sorry guys, this isn't my mission, Agent Sitwell will be your contact as he is already there" he turned to start his walk towards the elevator when Barton jumped in front of him.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME" Barton yelled "HOW THE FUCK DID SITWELL END UP IN BEIRUT" he grabbed Phil's arm roughly " But you're my handler not that DOUCHBAG"

Tony quickly shuffled some papers around hoping that Fury didn't mention his name.

Phil knew he would have to diffuse the situation, as it could end up in a arrow riddled stark, he pulled Clint into the kitchen away from everyone.

"Did..did I do something wrong? Is this Fury's punishment for me?" Clint asked looking at Phil like a lost child, he couldn't help but kiss him.

"you've done nothing wrong babe" Phil started stroking his face with his thumb "Fury always has a plan, we will be back in Belize before you know!" Phil started kissing the chiseled line of Clint's chin, when there was a tap on the kitchen doorframe.

"Time to go Hawkeye" Cap said as he watched Clint push Phil off him in shock

"Okay Cap" Clint started to walk out the door, he could feel his face reddening out of embarrassment. "We all know about you two, you know?" Cap stated. Clint just hurried out to the helipad to meet up with the team, his first assignment with SHIELD with out Phil.

Phil hated that every time someone from the team was around Clint was so different always hiding his true feelings. He tried to smile at the helicopter as it took off, but at the back of his mind he knew he had to go back to work.

"Agent Coulson, Director Fury is on the line for you" Jarvis brought Phil back to reality.

"patch him through Jarvis, thank you"

" Agent Coulson, we have to see how Hawkeye will do with out you and I need him focused on the task not on his heart" Fury made his point waiting for a response

"I understand sir" Phil shifted his weight he felt so uneasy, why did he have to be kept from his archer. He let out a long sigh

"Agent Coulson see this as your requested time off, the car is outside to take you back to the airport" the line went dead.

Coulson's mind was racing, is he on leave? What is going on. He requested that leave with Clint not by himself worrying about Clint. He will literally worry himself to death.

GOD DAMMIT FURY.


	5. Agent Dipillo

Clint's mind was racing all over the place that he didn't even realize the helicopter begin its decent. Was this some sort of test? As the helicopter set down he quickly surveyed the area, no Agent Sitwell to be seen 'Probably best' he thought as he gripped his bow.

"Welcome Agents" a woman's voice called "Agent Sitwell couldn't be here, I'm Agent Dipillo" she thrust out her hand to the Cap.

"Ma'am" he said while shaking her hand.

"For now I will be your main contact here at the base, if you need anything just let me know" she said while gesturing for the team to follow her "Thor is already here, and Stark we have built you a lab with everything you should need" Stark couldn't help but smile at the female agent. 'Fury must of lost his mind putting such a stunning agent in front of me' he thought.

"So Sitwell didn't even manage to make it to the welcoming party…what a great start this is" Clint said with a hint of hatred in his voice

The Cap just shot a disapproving look his way as he followed the agent into what looked like a classroom.

"Sit, Please" Dipillo said while gesturing to the empty seats and turning to the board "Now I know your all pining for your beloved Coulson, but he's not coming and I am not here to baby-sit" she said while slamming down files in front of the team "here is what we know"

'This woman clearly has a feisty side' thought Clint as he couldn't help but study her.

"Agent Barton" She boomed "Does the matter at hand bore you or are you dreaming about yourself naked?" She pointed at the file below him "Look I don't want to be here either, lets get the Doctor home and fast"

He felt like a kid back in school but there was something about this agent, he couldn't keep his eyes off her which is worrying for a taken man.

"We have tracked the Doctors location to here" she pointed to the map "We are still trying to figure out what's going on with the eye thing…Barton we are going to have you and a team scout the area to get more Intel"

Clint nodded in response as the door to the room opened

"Agent Dipillo the team is ready" said the field agent, he seemed to shake in her presence "Barton, that's your cue"

Clint picked up the files and headed for the door to join the agent.

"You'll get used to her… eventually" he said

"I don't plan on being here that long" Clint laughed as he got into the Humvee.

Stark had to admit it was hard to listen to what this woman was saying, he just kept staring, that was until Cap kicked him hard in the skin "You think you can handle that Stark?" she questioned

"Uhh…sure" he responded, embarrassed that he had no clue what he had agreed too.

"Okay lets find the Doctor" she said "Stark your lab is 3 doors down and to the left" and with that she left the room.

"The things I would do to that Agent" Stark boasted "Makes me happy Coulson is on holiday, Right Cap?"

"You have no idea what you agreed to, do you?" the Cap said starting to walk out.

"Hey I can figure it our" Stark yelled after the Cap.

The Humvee pulled up to the middle of nowhere and Clint and the team got out, just over the ridge was the Doctor. Clint wished he could just run in there and grab him and head back home but there was an unusual smell in the air as he radioed back to base.

"Stark? Cap? you there?" He started fidgeting, he didn't like the team being this disbanded.

"Loud and clear Hawkeye, what do you see?" Cap being polite as always over the radio

"Not a lot but there is a strong sulfur odor, any news on your end?" then he saw the Doc carrying 3 boxes with the 'Stark Industry' logo on " Uhhh Stark this could be personal" Clint kept his eye on the moving target.

"What makes you so sure of that Hawkboy" Stark snapped back

"Well lets see…Perhaps the 3 crates that Banner is carrying marked 'Stark Industries'" as he said the Doctors name Banner looked over, hoping his cover wasn't already blown but it was to late, Banner hit the Agent over the head.

Everything went black.

"BARTON!" Cap shouted down the com, this wasn't good.

"Stark we have to go" Cap said grabbing his shield and heading for the door with Stark following.

"Meet you there Cap" Stark smirked and took to the sky with Thor joining him, as the Cap jumped in a free Jeep.

Cap used the drive to think, what in the world was happening, Banner AWOL and now Barton taken captive! At least this was something Barton was trained for I suppose.

"Cap, Thor and I are here" Stark said, he was standing where the SHEILD Humvee used to stand, at his feet was Barton's bow. "How many agents where on his team, as no ones here" Stark hated to admit it but he was worried for Barton.

When the Cap pulled up he saw the pieces of Humvee that Stark was talking about "He had a team of three agents" he looked around seeing the bow "This is not good!"


	6. Is this the end?

WAKE UP BARTON!

His mind was so fuzzy, what happened, where was he…he heard a door open and suddenly he felt ice cold water pour all over him, making him throw open his eyes.

"Good morning Agent" Bruce laughed as he said it pulling on the chains that Clint's wrist's hung from pulling him from the floor. Clint felt a dizzying pain as his entire weight was now dangling from his wrists. He felt a pop as his shoulder became dislodged. This was where his training kicked in, the pain was unbearable but he knew he couldn't let that show, even to Bruce.

Bruce had a sly smile on his face "Oh dear, did the bird break a wing" he said prodding at the damaged shoulder. Pain shot through his entire body, all he could do was grit his teeth, he trained for this ." Good thing I'm a Doctor" Bruce headed for the door laughing the whole way.

Clint relaxed as he watched the Doctor leave, back on solid ground he could figure a way out. The door lock clunked 'Well I guess ill be here a while' he thought 'As much as I hate the man, I wish Stark was here'

Outside Cap, Stark and Thor where alerting Director Fury of what had happened and came up with a plan. Fury told them not to tell Coulson, and made sure they understood it was an order not a request.

"Sir with the little Intel we have on this place Barton could be anywhere, even underground" Cap said while trying to plan with Fury.

"We know little, but what we do know is now 2 Agents, and 3 Field Agents are in there…bring them home" Fury disconnected the call.

"JARVIS any chance there is a blue print for this building" Stark hoped they could at least know the building before going in blind.

"Sir, this building seems to be a re-used public building, I am downloading the blueprints now" JARVIS responded.

'Perfect' Stark thought.

As the pain from his shoulder died down and he realized that they was no way out Barton begain to think about things, about Coulson, about Belize. When suddenly the door unlocked Bruce had knives with him and other objects Barton didn't want to make out.

"Don't worry the Doctor's here' his dark eyes looked at Clint as he picked up the knife and drew it across the archers check.

'Breathe' thought Clint 'You trained for this…for torture!' the pain was unbearable 'Take your mind somewhere else' he desperately tried to think of his friends, of Phil…of anything.

"You cant get away that easy Hawkeye" the Doctor said as he hit him around the face "No daydreaming, they wont be able to recognize you when I'm done". Clint tried to shift his weight as he kept taking the beating.

Blood was pouring down his chest, he felt like he was going to pass out "And to think! I almost forgot your medicine" the Doctor said "Don't go anywhere" he laughed.

Cap had separated from Stark and Thor to cover more ground when he heard a door open near by "Get me the syringes, we need to break Hawkeye and make him suffer for sneaking around" Cap recognized that voice straight away.

"Stark, I found the Doctor and Hawkeye. I'd hurry up it doesn't sound good" he said heading towards the now closed door.

Clint had never been so happy to see someone, as he was when he saw Steve. He finally gave in all the pain came flooding in he couldn't help but cry.

"Don't worry Hawkeye, you'll be home before you know it" Cap said calmly seeing how bad his injuries where he knew they had to move fast.

"Stark find the Doc, we have a severely injured Barton here"

"On it " Stark replied sencing the urgency in the mans voice.

Cap very carefully got Clint down from where he was hanging and the man collapsed in his arms. In the distance you could hear Stark's suit firing.

Clint finally let go once he was in Steve's arms and passed out.

"The Doctor is unconscious, how's Barton" Stark was trying to hide the fear in his voice.

"Not Good" Cap stated "I'm requesting a Medevac for them both, he's lost a lot of blood…Coulson should know about this" Cap hated going against orders but as he picked up Clint's unconscious body he realized how pale the man really was.

By the time Cap and the others had met up with the Medevac and handed over the two paitents everything was looking pretty grim. Agent Dipillo walked over to them.

"The rest of Barton's team was killed, injected with oxygen to the blood stream" She shifted her weight "Barton is very lucky to be alive, we are putting the Doctor is a high security hospital until we know what's going on and once Clint is stable he can head back to New York".

"Make sure that hospital is prepared for the Hulk" Cap stated.

"Oh it is, we made sure of that, we believe it was some sort of viral thing that made him act this way but we are awaiting blood work. For now I say you head back home and await instruction".

Stark and Cap looked at each other in shock, "Head home? With all due respect ma'am this 'Virus' must of come from somewhere and I want to find out, not head home and act like nothing happened" Cap angrily walked off.

Clint could hear the beeping of his heart monitor, which meant he was safe. He still hurt everywhere, 'Couldn't of stayed in Belize' he thought as he drifted back to sleep.

Stark was tinkering away in his purpose built lab awaiting the blood samples from Agent Dipillo. "JARVIS call Agent Coulson" He said.

"Certainly Sir" JARVIS responded

"Coulson" Phil picked up

"Hey Buddy" Stark was trying to hide the worry in his voice but clearly failed

"Oh god Stark, what is it? Is everything okay?" he started packing up thinks as he rested the phone on his shoulder "I can be there in 13 hours" he sighed "Clint….is he okay, oh god what's Hulk done?"

Stark was overwhelmed "Am I that bad at lying? Clint's been hurt and is in ICU. Fury told us not to tell you " he sighed "But it seems pretty serious"

Phil slammed the hotel door "See you in 13 hours Stark" he said as he hung up the phone

'Fury is going to be PISSED' Stark thought.


	7. Coulson returns

How could he tell them to keep him out of the Fucking loop! Coulson was furious. Stark said that it seems serious, what happened, he gripped on to the strap of his bag. He hated not knowing anything.

Stark was working on the Doctor's blood when Steve burst in "His heart stopped beating" he was so out of breath "Barton's heart stopped beating!" Stark ran with Steve towards the ICU. They stopped at the window of Clint's room, a team of doctors were huddled over him, working there magic.

"What the HELL did the Doctor do to him!" Stark couldn't help but stare "Now I need to work this out more than ever, and I have jobs for you too Cap" with that they headed back to the lab, hoping Clint would make it.

"Sir Agent Dipillo is on the line, should I patch her through?" JARVIS boomed

"Go for it" he replied

"Mr. Stark, Bruce is awake and he is requesting you" She seemed angry by this "Oh and Fury would like to talk to you about your disregard to orders with Agent Coulson" she laughed knowing he was in for a bad one.

"On my way" he turned to the Cap "When this chimes press the play button, got it?"

"I think so" Cap responded, he knew how bad he was with technology.

"Stark what happened! Last thing I remember was you fighting off the….the" he scratched his head, he couldn't remember, he felt so groggy "Bad thing and then I felt something go in my back and then it all goes black! That Agent said I killed people, that I killed Barton!" Sadness swept across his face "Was it me? Or the other guy?" he broke down and started crying.

Stark let out a massive sigh of relief, at least he back "Bruce that fight was 8 days ago, you disappeared, as for Barton last I heard he was just a little bruised" He thought it would be best to lie through his teeth. "As for who it was…it was both of you but you were infected, you didn't know" Stark was never good at dealing with these situations

"She said I beat Barton unconscious…why would I do that?" he sniffed "Wait…Infected with what"

"Stop thinking about Barton and lets try and work out why, who and what for, they have to have a goal overall" he said studying the Doctors face.

Coulson landed and got in the first car to the SHEILD base, he didn't care if Fury would be upset for all he knew his boyfriend was DEAD! Tears rolled down his cheeks. 'Clint's first mission alone and this happens!'. He put his foot down and sped to the entrance, Parking the care and jumping out heading to the ICU. 'please Clint be alive, please' he thought.

"Agent Coulson?!" the ICU doctor asked "I thought you weren't on this mission"

"I wasn't" He snapped "but he's responsibility" Phil knew not to drop the boyfriend card at SHIELD.

"Oh! I'm sorry sir, we have got his heart restarted but he technically did die for 5 minutes, we wont know if there is any damage until he wakes up" . She watched the color drain from the agents face as she continued "We re-located his shoulder and have put stitched in the wounds, would you like to see his file?"

Phil felt dizzy, wounds, being dead for 5 minutes, he had to sit down or else he would collapse.

"Sir, are you okay? Do you need anything" she helped him to the chair.

Fury understood why Stark told Agent Coulson after he heard the diagnosis, he headed to the ICU to check on the Agent. "Phil" he called over to the man slumped in the chair across from Hawkeye's room.

"Nick" Phil's voice cracked "He died for 5 minutes…did you know that? He was alone! What the FUCK happened? Who did this?" Phil started getting angry "If Clint dies I will personally kill whoever did this"

"Phil, its not that simple as who did it, let me explain everything" He tired leading him away but Phil was reluctant to move "He will be here for a while Phil, lets go talk"

Phil finally got out of the chair he had slumped into and followed Nick to his office. "I want to be alerted right away if anything changes Nick!" Phil kept trying to hide his emotions.

"Of course" Fury had to deal with this delicately.

"Barton was gathering needed Intel for us to get Doctor Banner back when he was jumped and taken hostage with his 3 man team" Fury sighed " He was hung up and tortured, how…I don't even know but when Captain Rogers found him he lost consciousness" Fury tried to read the Agents face.

"So what your telling me Nick is someone snuck up on a trained assassin and his team, took them hostage and then beat the life out of Clint. Who sent him out there? Do we know who?" Phil questioned.

Fury couldn't bring himself to say that it was Banners doing, last thing he wanted was Phil killing the Doctor. He was saved from that by a knock on the door.

Stark and Captain Rogers were standing in the doorway. "So that's were Coulson is" Start let out a half assed smile appear on his face "We have some news regarding the virus, we know where it came from" Stark focused on Fury.

"Virus?!" Phil's brow furrowed "What aren't you telling me Nick? Tony who did this?"

Cap stepped in "Phil, we both know that Barton is a strong man, why not focus on getting him better?" Phil's face lost all it's color as he realized that Steve's suit was covered in blood. He burst into tears, maybe it was the stress or the lack of sleep…perhaps both but he felt broken. In the years that he has worked for SHIELD he has never broken down like this.

Fury got up and left Phil in the Captain's care as he joined Stark in the hallway "Please tell me its good news, my best agent is breaking down in my office, Both my assassins are either in ICU or healing and Doctor Banner killed 3 SHIELD agents and has no memory of it!" Fury ran his hands across his face, he was exhausted!"

" Well its definitely foreign, I had to run it against everything we know and I know its origins" Stark started walking back to the lab "Barton was right when he said it was personal…these people want there weapons back. They gave the Doc a nerve gas that should of killed him, but they other guy wouldn't die and it mutated into a virus"

"Just tell me who Stark" Fury pushed

"Libyans" Stark paused to let Fury take that in "They needed Banner to access Stark Industries and get weapons, luckily after the last snafu" Stark tapped at his Arc Reactor "We no longer ship weapons as 'fully functional' from the box"

" Well we can breathe easy there then" Fury sarcastically replied still absorbing all the information.

Cap walked in to join them "Phil is bunking in Barton's room if you need him, Until Clint wakes up I doubt he will be any use" He sighed "so Director when can be get the Libyans"

Phil laid on the hospital bed next to Barton. " I wish I could help you find your way home in there" he said while stroking the archer's hair "Clint I'm sorry" Phil's exhaustion finally caught up to him and he drifted off to sleep to the noise of Clint's heart rate machine.

BEEP…BEEP…BEEP…BEEP


	8. The truth comes out

Stark, Cap and Thor were headed out on their next mission to get the weapons back and the people responsible for this mess.

"Let's bring them back alive" Fury stated over the radio "I think Bruce and Clint would like to see them pay for all this"

Phil woke up freezing, getting up to grab the blanket left over the chair by a nurse, he took a moment to look over at the archer. 'So peaceful' he thought, as he headed back over to cuddle up to Clint's warm body.

'If Fury doesn't let us go back to Belize now I think the idea of a holiday for us is doomed' Phil giggled to himself.

The door to the room opened "Uh…Agent Coulson…I can come back later" the nurse nervously diverted her eyes, darting all around the room. Phil got up and let out a laugh "Don't worry" he couldn't stop chuckling 'I was just catching up on some shut eye" he moved away from the bed allowing the nurse to do what ever she needed. She cleared her throat " You love him don't you?" she asked, Phil was shocked by her bluntness "I do" he smiled looking over at Clint.

"Its always hard to love another Agent, they always end up hurt somehow" she seemed to swallow a lump in her throat "He seems to be strong though" She let out a weak smile as if she didn't want to give him to much hope.

"Lost someone in the field?" He asked

She nodded "He was on Agent Barton's Intel team" She dropped her head letting the tears fall down her face.

Phil was overwhelmed by sadness and moved to embrace the woman in a hug "I'm…I'm so sorry" he felt her tears soaking through his suit shirt " The Avengers will find who did this, and make them pay…I promise" Phil knew this promise was one he would keep.

"Thank you Agent Coulson" she said as she pulled away and headed for the door.

"Please, its Phil...I think we can throw the titles out of the window as your looking after my man" he smiled

She walked over and stuck out her hand "Hi Phil, I'm Kate…Kate Bishop" with that she left the room.

Phil's mind was racing 'So the other agents died!' he needed to know more, he kissed Clint's forehead before heading to Starks lab.

He started searching through the messy lab, when he saw Dr. Banner's blood work on screen. "I guess that what happened to the Doc" he said "This virus must have been bad to affect the Hulk" next to that on screen where the files of the agents that were with Barton, stamped across there photo's was the word Deceased. Phil quickly scanned through their files each agent was highly trained and then he saw it….

"Killed on duty by Doctor Bruce Banner" Phil couldn't believe it he stormed out and headed straight to Banner's room.

He threw open the door waking the Doctor up, "Why Bruce" Phil yelled "What the FUCK has Clint ever done to you" he grabbed Bruce's collar "He's your friend and now he's stuck unconscious in a hospital bed you FUCKING BASTARD' at this point there was security in the room trying to keep Banner and Coulson calm.

Bruce just looked at Coulson "I'm…I'm sorry Phil…There was nothing I could do , I don't even remember it , you know I never meant to harm him"

Phil threw him back on his pillow " But you did Bruce…" he spat on Bruce and walked out, grabbing his phone and furiously dialing Fury's number.

"So it was fucking Banner" he snapped before Fury could even say hello "Fuck you Nick, if Clint dies so does he" he hung up before Fury could speak, he knew he had to calm down, he had to hear Clint's voice.

Fury called Agent Dipillo "Agent put protective security on Banner and have someone watch Barton's room" he didn't want to make it out that Phil had gone crazy but he had to keep an eye out just in case.

"Yes Sir…May I ask why?" he sighed "Because its an order Agent" Handing up the phone he made radio contact with the remaining Avengers "So please tell me we have something" a crackle came over the radio, about 20 minutes passed before anyone responded.

"Tagged and Bagged! And on our way back" Stark responded.

"Be quick about it Agent Coulson just threatened Banners life" Fury was worried of what the agent could really do with his years of training.

"So who told him it was Banner, Director?" Steve enquired

"I don't know, but he is not a happy agent. Just know that"

Phil was trying everything to calm down, he decided it was best to go outside and get some air. He saw his reflection in the window, he looked like shit he had been wearing the suit for too long, he had massive bags under his eyes it was like the stresses if the job were really taking there toll on his body. His mind kept repeating what Nurse Bishop had said.

"Its always hard to love another Agent, they always end up hurt somehow"

Kate was right, as much as he wanted to deny it with Clint out in the field all the time Phil would always be on high alert especially after this.

"Phil" Kate popped her head out the door, she had a smile across her face "He's awake" Phil jumped up and ran as fast as he could to Clint's room practically jumping on him. He kissed the smiling archer.

"Did I miss something?" Clint groggily asked "I thought you were on vacation" he chuckled putting his good arm around Phil.


	9. What he remembers

The Avengers and Fury were standing in Clint's room "Do you remember anything" Fury asked. Clint's mind took him back to the room, the pain, the beating, he closed his eyes and felt it all again. His voice cracked "I remember everything sir" Phil put his hand on Clint's good shoulder and casually rubbed, trying to sooth him.

Kate walked in stopping short of the bed "Any chance I can check on my patient" she laughed smiling at Coulson.

The team stepped out of the room leaving Kate and Clint alone.

"He's been here every night you know" Kate said "He really cares" As much as Clint knew this, his mind kept jumping back to that room. He winced at the memories "Did I hurt you?" She asked, he flicked open his eyes as a tear ran down his cheek "No, I…I just can't stop thinking about it" she saw the pain sweep across his face "How am I supposed to go back to normal?"

At that moment Phil stood at the door grinning "Can I have him back yet Kate" He beamed

She turned to Clint " It takes time, try and talk to someone" She said turning back to Phil "he's all yours but be gentle"

"Got it Doc" he smiled like a schoolboy as she left the room, walking over to Clint and kissing him on the forehead. Phil felt so much better, he had showered and was wearing clothes he had stolen from Clint's bag. " You scared me there babe" he let out a chuckle "How are you? Do you need anything?"

Clint shifted in his hospital bed "You know me, always getting in scraps heh…I'm fine….I just feel groggy by the way nice clothes!" he looked around. 'How do I got back to this' Clint thought

Phil ran his hand through the archers hair pulling him in for a kiss, hearing Clint's heart rate monitor race made him smile " Don't worry I can be your at home nurse" Phil winked.

Clint let out a half assed smile, he just wanted to be alone or talk to Tasha about how she deals with it. He couldn't help but shake the feeling of guilt he should of tried harder to escape…to save the others agents. His back began to ache when his brain flashed him back to that room, the pain of the lashing and then the feeling of the knife cutting into his skin. He rolled on his side turning his back to Phil and started crying.

"Clint? Babe?" Phil was worried "What's wrong? Talk to me please"

"I…I need rest" Clint said hoping Phil would understand.

Phil was crushed, he felt like he got Clint back only to loose him, but he knew it would be best to leave him. "I'll be here when you need to talk" His voice cracked "I'll go"

As Phil left the room Clint broke down, his life could never be easy…maybe he just wasn't cut out for relationships.

"Hey Kate" Phil caught up with the nurse in the hall "Is there anyway I can see Agent Barton's file, I need details on the injuries he sustained" Kate just looked up at Phil blankly.

"Uh…yea sure, Just remember Phil sometimes the brain needs to heal along with the body" She handed over the file "He's been through a lot"

"Thanks" Phil headed to the bunks 'what did she mean by that' he thought 'Did he talk to her? And not me…' he felt a wave of jealousy hit him like a brick wall as he opened the file.

Patient: Clint 'Hawkeye' Barton

Status: Active

Height: 5'10

Weight: 176 lbs

Past Heath Issues: Multiple arm and back injuries, Scar tissue on chest from past wounds.

Injuries Sustained: Multiple lacerations to the back and arms, lashing welts on the back, dislocated shoulder and wrist, deep laceration on chest, broken left foot

Notes: Agent has clearly been attacked, he has also been treated for severe dehydration and should have therapy for his shoulder and to deal with the events once healed.

ICE Contact: Agent Phillip Coulson

Phil couldn't believe how broken his hawk was, all he wanted to do was comfort him, but he knew he wanted to be alone. Phil decided to talk a walk and saw Kate smoking outside.

"Here's the file" he said handing it back to her "I…I didn't realize all that had happened" she reluctantly smiled " I wasn't lying when I said he was strong Phil" she stubbed out her cigarette. "Just take it slow, no one knows how its effected his mind, Want me to go check on him?"

"Please " He smiled

As she walked away he took out his phone and gave Natasha a call, maybe she could help him understand.

"Phil? Everything okay?" Tasha groggily asked "I can't come and help as I'm still waiting to get signed off"

"That's not why I'm calling" Phil took a deep breath and explained everything to her.

Kate headed into Clint's room "Hey Agent Barton, how are you feeling?"

Clint wiped his face "Fine Doc, Just trying to wrap my head around everything" he tried sitting up but flinched from the pain "Is he upset?"

"He just needs to wrap his head around it and understand" she said checking his bandages "I don't think they realize what you went through"

Clint sighed "I wish I could have saved the others" the guilt was eating away at him

"Me too Barton…me too" she headed for the door hoping not to show her emotion.

"With Banner not remembering anything we have no idea what Clint went through back there but as we have the weapons back and the people we can get out of this god forsaken place and get him on the mend" Stark started packing his files.

"I'm guessing we will not be seeing him fight along side us any time soon" Cap stated " guess he will finally get his vacation"

Clint had finally drifted to sleep, the minute his eyes closed his body broke out into sweats and he was back in the room, Bruce was holding the archers foot and bending it the wrong way until it broke, he let out a blood curdling scream that came out of his throat and filled the ICU room as he slept, Coulson who had taken his seat back outside the room rushed in.

"Clint?! Clint?!" Phil tried waking up the archer gently but the scream persisted "Clint, its just a dream" he kept repeating it until Clint's eyes flew open. The bed was covered in sweat he was shaking. " Clint…baby, I'm here It was just a dream" he stroked his face trying to bring him back into the room.

"I…I…can't stop Phil" he cried "I don't want to go back"

"Shhhh Clint, you don't have to…I'm here I will keep you safe" he looked down at the broken man, he wanted to hug him but he was afraid to hurt him. He sat on the bed next to Clint leaning back letting Clint's head rest on his chest.

"I wish I could forget Phil" he looked up at him "Can we go home now?" Phil chuckled "of course we can baby"

Clint drifted back to sleep listening to the familiar beats of Phil's heart.


	10. Is this goodbye?

The morning sun shone through the hospital window waking the agents from there slumber.

"Thank you Phil" Clint said as he removed his head from his chest "I'm sorry I haven't been all here"

Phil put his finger over Clint's mouth making him stop talking "I know it will take time, but I have all the time in the world for you, Plus as your handler I have to stick around" he winked and Clint smiled at the man he loved and he roughly kissed Phil ignoring the pain in his back, he realized that all he wanted was him. He didn't want to go through this again, he pulled away and looked at Phil " You know I love you!"

Phil just smiled "Of course"

"I need to speak to Director Fury" Clint slowly inched up the bed

"Uh…Okay" Phil started to get up "I'll go get him" he looked worried.

"Thank you babe" Clint l knew this was the right thing to do.

Half an hour later Fury and Coulson walked through the door.

"Thank you Phil, can I speak with the Director alone" Clint looked at Phil and let a smile sweep across his face.

Phil reluctantly exited the room and sat back outside.

"Agent Barton are you okay? Banner wanted to come and see you if your up for it? I know it may be a bit hard for you" The Director seemed to be rambling.

"Sir, did you bring my file?" Clint enquired ignoring any of the drabble he had been saying.

Fury held up a SHEILD file labeled 'Hawkeye' "What is this about Barton?"

"Sir, I would like to resign from the Avengers Initiative and SHIELD" Clint made sure he was forceful with his choice, Fury seemed taken a back.

"We will have you on leave Barton, until you have healed" Fury seemed to be trying to change Clint's mind "why not wait on your decision?"

"Sir with all due respect…I'm done" Clint winced as he shifted "Please list me as Inactive"

Fury knew he would lose this battle as he had no idea what the agent had been through in that room, he took out his pen and wrote INACTIVE across the file and photo and showed it to Clint.

"Happy?...I hope we see you back here once your healed" Fury secretly hoped he was right.

"Fury…I'm done….Thank you" Clint sighed as Fury walked out the door.

Fury slammed the door shut, throwing the file at Coulson "Agent Coulson, your being re-assigned" Phil managed to catch the file, looking down at Fury's writing across Clint's photo "you are no longer Agent….Mr. Barton's handler"

"Wha…But…" Phil was speechless

Fury was clearly angry "Get the Avengers back to New York" he left storming back to his office.

"WHAT THE FUCK CLINT" Phil burst into the room " You know this means I have to leave now!" Phil was furious, how could he do this "Fury has me taking the Avengers to New York tonight! And that" he pointed at the file " means your not coming with me"

Clint just sat there and finally said "I'm sorry, this is for the best"

"If this is your way of breaking up with me then FUCK YOU BARTON…." Phil stormed out.

"I did this for us" Clint said to the closed door, crushed by his lovers reaction.

"Give him time" Kate's words kept going through Phil's head as he got on the helicopter.

"we are leaving with out Barton" questioned Cap

"Mr. Barton is no longer a part of SHIELD or the Avengers Initiative" Phil snapped, the rest of the ride to New York was silent.


	11. Nervousness is not always a bad thing

A couple of months had passed; Clint was back on his feet. He was living in a shitty apartment in New York and every so often he would head towards Stark Tower hoping to see any of his old friends, he never realized how much he would loose by leaving the Avengers.

Phil still thought back to the day he turned his back on his archer, he kept the clothes he had borrowed as a constant reminder. When the team got back to New York Phil fell deep into depression, he focused on work and nothing else until about 3 months passed and he got a visitor.

Kate walked in his office, making the memories flash back,

"Phil...It's been a while" she said "Just thought you might want to know about this" she threw Clint's discharge papers on the desk "and so you know he hasn't spoken or stopped crying since you left him"

"He took the easy way out Kate, you don't think I miss him?" Phil responded, his voice shaking.

"I'm not saying you don't but he's all alone and you don't see to care" with that she threw Clint's new address on the desk and walked out.

Phil looked at the address 'Why is he living in that shit hole' he thought. He spent the entire night contemplating going to see his lover, when it came down to it all he could face doing was drive past.

A couple more months passed and Clint was trying to make a fresh start but no one wants to employ an Ex-Avenger and his savings were running low. 'I could go back' he thought 'how would I face them'. There was a knock on his door he shuffled over to see who it was, but when he opened the door no one was there, he looked down and saw a note.

The note simply said "Stark Tower, 3pm" Clint looked at the clock '2:30pm….SHIT' throwing on yesterdays clothes he headed out the door.

Kate saw the archer shyly walk up, knowing he wouldn't talk she took the lead. "Clint, you look like shit, but at least your on your feet" Clint let a slight smile show on his face. "I know you come here every day, why not go up there and see them?" Clint started fidgeting and turned to walk away.

"Clint?! Clint is that you?!" Tasha ran over and embraced him "We have missed you! When did you get back?" Clint just smiled but still refused to talk. Kate saw this as the right time to step in.

"Hello Natasha, I'm Clint's nurse, before you start to wonder he isn't going to reply, he hasn't spoken since the incident" She watched the agents face drop.

"Will he come upstairs, we all want to see him" she asked

"That's up to him" Kate said she leant in and whispered to Tasha "Phil broke his heart, I just don't think he's ready to see him"

Natasha nodded putting her arm around Clint and kissing his cheek "Come on Stark Tower ain't that bad! You look like you need a good shower anyway". Clint sighed knowing she wouldn't let him just walk away and smiled at Kate.

'That woman was my rock for 4 months, why is she pushing this so much' he thought.

"Have fun Clint" Kate smiled as she walked away her job here was done.

Clint and Tasha got into the elevator at Stark Tower, Tasha was catching Clint up on everything, he just kept his eyes on the floor numbers getting more and more nervous the closer they got to the top floor. "He hasn't been the same with out you Clint" she touched his shoulder bringing him back into the conversation, "don't look so nervous" all Clint could do was smile as the doors slid open.

"Good Afternoon Agent Rominoff and Mr. Barton" JARVIS announced.

Phil was in his office when he heard JARVIS 'he's here!' he thought, quickly checking himself in the mirror. "You look like shit Phil" he said to himself, as he headed into the hall.

"You know where the shower is Clint, try and make your self look a little less shit" Tasha chuckled.

Phil waited to hear his response, just to hear his voice, but he just heard Clint walk into the hallway where he was standing. Clint's eyes flicked up to meet Phil.

"Clint" Phil couldn't help but say his name as he began to walk towards him.

Clint couldn't deal with seeing the man who left him alone, he dropped the towel Tasha had given him and ran for the elevator jamming the button in hoping it would make it hurry up.

"Clint?" Tasha ran up "What's wrong?" She saw Phil and realized Kate was right , Clint had tears running down his face. "Clint you can't keep running from him, Please" she pleaded as the elevator doors opened with Stark inside.

"The archer is back" he boomed pushing Clint back into the room "We must celebrate! See Phil I told you the Love Bird would return" Stark slapped Clint on the back and he let out a howl of pain, "Still healing then?"

Clint felt like he was in his own personal hell that he couldn't escape, he kept seeing Phil out of the corner of his eye. A part of him felt good that he looked as exhausted as Clint felt.

"So, 6 months and now letters Clint" Stark tutted " now that's just not very nice" he pushed a pile of papers in front of Clint, he looked down seeing the forms he needed to fill out to become an Avenger again.

" We need our Hawk, Clint" Stark pushed "and now your up and about why not come back?"

There was way to much pressure Clint needed to think, Could he really come back to all this, to Phil?

"Agent…Mr Barton" Bruce stood across the room, he wasn't sure how Clint would react so he made sure to keep his distance " I can only apologize for everything and I hope it wasn't my doing that made you leave"

Clint was frozen to his chair, he knew this man was a friend and yet his memory wouldn't quit bringing him back to it all, he grabbed a paper and a pen and wrote " I need to lie down" and handed it to Natasha.

"Okay, your rooms still there" she responded and he practically ran to the room.

"So he's not talking" Stark broke the silence.

"I guess that's how he's dealing, it's obviously been a hard 6 months" Tasha said

Clint looked around his room, exactly how he left it, some of Phil's things were sill on the right side of the bed. He let out a sigh as he started to undress.

Phil wanted, No needed to talk to Clint so he went into his room, In front of him Clint was topless with his back to Phil the scars were everywhere he didn't look human anymore.

"Clint, I'm so sorry"

He watched the archers back muscles clench

"I should of never left you, but I thought that you were trying to get rid of me by leaving the program". Phil knew he wouldn't get a response so he carried on with his apology "I can't even begin to think what you went through and as your partner I should have been there for you" Phil watched Clint turn around but he couldn't help but stare at the scar going from his throat to his hip. "I regret that day so much, I've been a mess with out you Clint" he watched a tear fall down Clint's face and he brushed it away with his thumb, the feeling of his hawks skin made his heart race, he looked at the bed "I've slept here every night, hoping that you would come back" Phil couldn't hold back anymore, he kissed Clint, this kiss was different than all the others from before, it was full of longing and passion.

Clint didn't want to pull away he couldn't help but get drawn in, he began unbuttoning Phil's shirt, shoving his hands in the gap, feeling his heartbeat as he pulled off the shirt.

Phil's heart was going crazy he had got his man back! He wanted to do so many bad things to him, he fumbled as he started undoing Clint's belt and pushed him back on the bed, he look a moment to study his beautiful man laying in front of him and then he removed his clothes and joined him on the bed.

Phil covered his entire body with kissed which drove Clint insane, he had missed this, he felt all the blood rush to his now throbbing cock, and with that Phil took it in his mouth, teasing his tip with his tounge until Clint could take no more and flipped Phil beneath him, he kissed him roughly and grabbed the lube from the nightstand, he gently inserted two fingers into Phil's entrance, he let out a slight whine and a moan. Clint couldn't wait any longer as he pulls Phil up and applies a generous amount of lube to his throbbing hard on and enters Phil.

Thrusting himself as hard as he can into him he feels himself already getting close to climaxing as he feels Phil clench up and release himself on the bed below, this drives Clint over the edge and with one last powerful thrust he screams out "FUCK" and releases.

They both lay on the bed panting, as Phil places his head on Clint's chest and tries to ignore the slight flinch.

"I guess absence does make the heart grow stronger" Phil joked as he traced the outline of the scar on Clint's chest.

All Clint could do was pull Phil closer, he wasn't ready to talk yet.


	12. Text friends

Morning rolled around Clint reluctantly opened his eyes looking down at the man that was twisted around his waist with his head resting on Clint's chest. 'How did I get back here so easily" he thought. He carefully moved Phil to the pillow, watching him stir and mumble before falling back to sleep. Clint headed out to the kitchen.

Cap turned around when he heard the footprints on the tile floor, "so the rumors are true" he said "your back!".

Clint just smiled "We have missed you" Cap continued.

Clint grabbed a glass of water and headed back to re-join the sleeping Phil, he took a second to check his phone, 3 texts from Kate 'SHIT' he thought as he opened them.

"Clint do what you feel is right & don't forget our plans"

Next message

'Let me know how it went"

Next message

"Tonight 7pm, The Breslin"

Clint felt bad ignoring the other questions, but it was early so he just replied "7pm, ill be in my best suit :)". He knew he couldn't let her down after everything she did. He looked over at Phil, she helped him get his love back, but did he want it back?

Phil rustled and automatically noticed Clint was missing from the bed and sprung up "Clint?!" he sleepily asked. He felt Clint's arms embrace him "Welcome back babe, words can't describe hoe much I missed you" he felt Clint bury his head in the back of his neck and he knew he wasn't dreaming.

Two hours passed before JARVIS boomed into the room "Good Morning, the temperature outside is 25 degrees, there is a slight wind chill outside" Clint missed his basic alarm. "Agent Coulson, Director Fury is requesting you".

Phil sighed as he got up, throwing on a SHEILD t-shirt "I guess the vacations over" he kissed Clint on the cheek and headed for his office.

"So I hear he's back" Fury knew this day would come "nothing gets past you sir, he's not an Avenger yet, but I think him being back with us will make him want back in" Phil seemed sure of it.

Clint rolled over in bed 'this sure beats my crappy apartment' he thought "but im not back' he got up and headed to the shower.

"Make him come back Phil" Fury was trying to hide his eagerness to have a full team again.

"Sir I think he may be dealing with things still, he refuses to speak" Phil didn't want Clint to get pressured as he just got him back.

"Not speaking? A silent bird" Fury laughed.

Clint had got dressed in his old SHIELD workout clothes and gone for a run, he needed to clear his head and go home with out the others getting suspicious. A part of him felt bad just leaving but he knew it was best.

Tasha knocked on Clint's bedroom door "Hey sleepyhead I've made you breakfast, are you decent?" She laughed opening the door to the empty bedroom. "Jarvis did Clint leave?" She asked as she saw Phil exiting his office.

"Agent Romanoff, Mr. Barton left at approximately 10:15am" JARVUS responded and Tasha saw Phil's face drop.

"Why would he leave?" Phil said looking at Tasha for some sort of answer, but he got nothing.

Clint got home and texted Kate.

"R U Free?"

and awaited her response,

"On my way over ;)"

She always knew how to make him smile and within 20 minutes there she was at his doorstep.

"So was it that bad you have to sneak out this morning, you dirty tramp" she joked not expecting him to nod in agreement. "Oh! Clint I'm sorry, was it to much to take?" he nodded and wrote "Bruce" on the pad of paper she was holding. She hugged Clint knowing that was all she could do, She jumped onto the couch "Come on lets watch crappy day time tv, just like the old times" Clint couldn't help but smile and joined her and she put her head in his lap 'why is this woman so good to me' he thought.

Breakfast at Stark Tower was silent no one wanted to point the blame for Clint leaving. Pepper walked in "Woah did I just walk into a funeral" she asked kissing Tony as she sat next to him.

"Clint left" Phil said while pushing around his now cold eggs on his plate.

"Maybe he just needs to pack up his old apartment before moving back here Phil" Pepper smiled trying to lighten the mood.

Kate kept stealing glances at Clint, she couldn't get over how after everything he was still smiling. "Are you excited for tonight" she questioned "hope your hungry" she smiled as he nodded and draped his arm over her chest.

'FUCK' thought Kate she was developing feelings for him! As she watched him all she could think about was kissing him 'Always falling for the gay ones Bishop' she thought and let out a chuckle.


	13. Green with jealously

5pm rolled around and Clint looked down at the now sleeping Kate, nestled in his lap, he realized that something so simple had made him happy and made him forget everything even if it was only for a couple of hours but he knew he had to wake her up so she could head home before dinner.

She groggily woke up "Oh...did I fall asleep, how long have I been out?" She sat up and stretched.

Clint held up his hand showing her four fingers.

"FOUR HOURS! You gotta be kidding me! Clint I'm so sorry" she checked her watch "I gotta go and get ready" she smiled at Clint "thanks for an awesome day, see you at 7".

Clint just nodded and kissed her goodbye on the cheek, he enjoyed watching her face turn the color of Tony's suit.

The day was coming closer to the end and Phil was pacing around his office "why did he leave" he said out loud "I…I thought he was back" there was a knock at his door and Tasha was standing there with her hands on her hips.

"Are you going to stop making an indent in the carpet any time soon and join us for dinner?" she walked into his office "Maybe it was to much for him all at once, he probably didn't expect to deal with Bruce, Tony pushing him to sign back up and seeing you, just give him time" she gave Phil a hug she could tell this was killing him.

"Thanks" he half smiled

Clint was really trying to make an effort for Kate; I mean hell he even shaved! He pulled on his dress shirt, buttoning it up, his hands brushed the scar. For once it took him back to the ICU room and Kate instead of the other room and Bruce, he smiled at the memory 'Is this getting better?' he asked himself.

Kate looked at the clock, 6:30pm she was so fucking nervous 'This isn't a date' she kept saying to herself, she still made an effort. She looked down at her dress 'Fuck was this to much?" to late to change now she thought as the cab pulled up.

Clint got to the restaurant early, he walked around a bit, 'maybe Kate is the key to getting better' he thought, as he turned around he saw her getting out of the yellow taxi and fuck did she look amazing.

"Clint" she looked up at him as he walked towards her, a smile swept across her face, he looked so perfect. "You look amazing" she said, Clint mimed back "You Too" and gestured to go inside.

'Breathe Kate, he's gay this isn't a date' she said to herself as they were shown to their seats. She noticed the little things about Clint that night over dinner. He really seemed to be watching everything and yet conversing...well conversing through notes. By the end of the meal they had talked about everything even the incident with no problems, no flinching from Clint, no worries.

Phil burst into Stark's lab, "Tony is it illegal to track a cellphone" Tony smirked "Still awaiting Hawkguy?" he stuck out his hand for the number "Phil what if you don't like what you see? Phil just paced around the room "I'm a big boy Tony, just tell me where!" Tony sighed as the computer beeped the location of the archer "He's at the Breslin, that's a pretty fancy restaurant" before Tony could continue Phil was out the door. 'This could end badly' Tony thought as he went to tell Cap and Natasha.

Clint for once in his life felt normal; here he was having dinner with a beautiful woman with out a care in the world, today was turning out to be a great! Suddenly Kate cut off her story "Phil?!" Clint couldn't help but turn around.

'There he was with that woman when he should have been having that meal with me' Phil thought as he headed towards their table.

"Kate, Clint…Sorry I don't mean to interrupt but Clint left this on the bed this morning" he made sure to point out to this woman who he spent the night with as he handed Clint the SHIELD file.

Kate looked over at Clint and he looked pissed, it was clear Phil was basically here to mark his territory. Clint got up and grabbed Phil's arm practically dragging him to the door, Kate could see them arguing through the window, she started feeling uneasy as she looked over at the file in the table, the big SHIELD logo emblazed across its front.

After about 5 minutes Clint came back and sat down re-adjusting his tie, he wrote "I'm really sorry Kate :(" on a napkin. All she could do was laugh "No worries Clint, but I think Phil is a tad bit jealous" Clint smiled and grabbed her hand across the table, with that she felt her skin flush.

Phil felt stupid, Clint had basically thrown him out of the restaurant but who did that bitch think she was! His phone started buzzing in his pocket "Coulson" he answered.

"Now did you really think that was a good idea Phil?" Tony said "You basically made a show over two friends having dinner! We are trying to get him back not scare him away!"

Phil sighed, Tony was right "Tony that was pretty much a date! I had to stand my ground"

"Ha! Last I checked boss Clint really didn't like the ladies so I think your safe there! Why not come home, sleep it off" Tony said and before Phil could protest he hung up.

Clint paid the check, grabbed Kate's hand and headed for the door "Clint! Your file!" she said picking it up from the table as she followed him out. When they reached the outside the cold air picked up and Clint draped his suit jacket around Kate's shoulder and pulled her close as they walked back to Clint's apartment.

Kate had a smile plastered across her face for the entire walk, when they reached his apartment he opened the door for her and pulled out a bottle of wine, "Thirsty?" he wrote, Kate nodded as he opened the bottle with such precision, she watched his arm muscles contract as he pulled out the cork.

Before she could stop herself she was kissing Clint.

"Oh…god" she backed away "I'm so sorry, Clint I shouldn't of done that" she was going for the door when Clint stopped her.

"Stay" he said, his voice hoarse from the lack of use.

Kate couldn't believe he spoke, let alone wanted her to stay!

"Clint, I , I feel really bad" she couldn't apologize enough.

And then with no warning he kissed her back

"Now we are both guilty of the same crime" he smirked as he changed into his SHIELD sweatpants showing off his defined chest and laid on his bed " lets watch crappy TV until we fall asleep' he said while tapping the right hand side of the bed.

Kate was still in shock as she got into one of Clint's shirts to sleep in and snuggled up to his body.

'Always loving the ones you cant have' she thought as Clint kissed the top of her head.

She made sure to rest her head on his chest so she could fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.

'What a day' Clint thought as he drifted off to sleep pulling Kate closer.


	14. Faked

The sun rose over a sleepy New York, the Avengers were jumping into action, still one man short.

Clint rolled over pulling Kate closer, and let out a happy sigh. No alarms, no worries, he heard his phone buzzing in his jacket against the table, he really didn't want to leave the comfort of the bed, but he reluctantly got up.

The caller ID was flashing Tony's face, he sighed and picked up.

"Hawkboy" Clint hated being called that "I know your on a mission to keep us wondering if you will be back" he paused as Clint could hear gunshots, Tony let out a painful grunt "Look we really need you right now!" the line went dead.

'Fuck' thought Clint as he grabbed his SHIELD bag that had been collecting dust in his closet, he grabbed the file off of the table, looking back at the Kate, he franticly dialed Phil.

"Clint I'm so.." Clint cut him off before he could even apologize.

"Where are the Avengers Phil?" he sternly asked, "They need my help". Phil was speechless 'I guess Natasha was right'

"LA" Phil responded "Clearly you don't watch the news, come to Stark Tower and I can get you a jet to take you there"

Clint ran to Stark Tower, his back smashing into his side. Jumping into the elevator he started to get in his suit, the doors opened and he shoved the SHIELD file into Phil's hand, "Lets go" he said.

Clint's mind rushed back to the sleeping Kate in his apartment and he fished out his phone to text her.

'Lovely night, SHIELD called omw to LA, make yourself at home :)'

He still felt bad leaving her so quickly.

Phil couldn't help but smile as he kept staring at Clint, 6 months he had been waiting to see that uniform again. It was always tight in the right places which made Phil's insides stir. As the jet landed in what looked like a battle field the back hatch opened, Clint was already on his feet running to his team mates. "Clint, your com" Phil said as he tossed it to him.

"Stark? Anyone? I'm here!" Clint said

"Just in time the prodigal son returns, we need you to take out this guy and his team, your 2 blocks away" Stark said

"Got it" Clint started running towards the battle shooting down any enemies that he could see 'I guess I'm back' he thought.

Clint saw Tasha and Cap fighting on the ground, "Nice of you to join us" Cap said "here is the deal, one guy is creating all this havoc with computer controlled droids, we take him out the droids fall…Simple, if we could get to him" Cap took out 3 droids with his shield " he's up there" Cap pointed up.

"Ill give you a ride Hawkboy" Tony said as he grabbed the collar of Clint's vest and took him to the opposite building, for a hawk he hated flying with Tony!

Phil was in the command base when he realized he never looked at Clint's file. He opened it and his face dropped, nothing was signed the only thing in there was a letter, Phil read it:

Director Fury,

I am doing this simply for my sanity, I still cannot say I am and Avenger after everything that I went through, But I know they are my Family.

I will not sign these forms yet as a member of my team almost killed me, I still need to deal with that.

I need to work out a plan.

You have my number if you need to discuss anything.

Clint Barton

'Why was he here then?' Phil thought. Over the radio Stark was cheering. "I told you Hawkboy could do it, Phil its time to go home it's been and exhausting 24 hours…as Cap would say 'Mission Accomplished'"

The team was battered and bruised as they walked on the jet, Tasha and Clint slumped down in the seats and Cap and Bruce joined them on the opposite side of the jet. Exhausted Tasha looked at Clint "Welcome back Hawkeye" she rested her head on his shoulder.

Clint just let out a sigh 'Was this worth it' he thought as he felt his phone ringing in his vest.

Kate was pacing, why was she so worried, he can look after himself… Clint finally answered.

"Kate?! Everything okay?" he asked

'Fuck' she thought 'I thought he wouldn't pick up'

"Oh hey Clint" she said nervously "Sorry I shouldn't of called, I know your busy" she felt her stomach knotting up.

"Don't be silly, I'll be home soon and I expect you to be there as I want to cook you dinner!" Phil shot a look at Clint as he thought 'why not me!'

Kate practically had a heart attack "I'll be here" you could hear the smile in her face "See you soon"

"So you're not celebrating the win with your team?" Phil was trying not to raise his voice in anger

Clint just shot Phil a look "Well as Tony woke me up this morning I wasn't able to make breakfast for Kate, you know the woman who stuck around for the 6 months I was sick and I know your nosey enough to know that I didn't actually sign the forms, so I'm not event on this fucking team Phil' Clint was done being nice, he was tired and hungry and didn't need the third degree.

Phil was obviously hurt as he walked away, sitting down at his desk "for the record, you made me leave by resigning" he turned away from the team as he started crying, trying to make it look like he was doing work. The rest of the flight was dead silent.

As soon as they landed Clint packed up his bag and headed for the door, Tony stopped him "I get you and Coulson are having issues, but you have to sort it out before it kills you both" Clint just threw his bag over his shoulder.

"Relationship advice from Tony Stark, I never thought I'd see that!" he said as he turned and left to go home.

Kate practically knocked Clint off his feet as he came through the door "WOAH! Kate! Hello!" he threw down his bag.

"Sorry as sad as it sounds I'm just glad your okay" she said as he face flushed. He pinched her cheek "Thanks Kid" he said as he let a smile creep across his face.

"So how does it feel to be an Avenger again" she questioned knowing that before long he would move back into Stark Tower and all of this would end.

"I'm not an Avenger Kate, can we talk about something else?" he asked as his mind brought him back to the vision of Phil crying on the Jet.


	15. Time

Phil got back to Stark tower and collapsed on the bed in Clint's room, 'How did this get so fucked up' he thought.

After dinner Kate left for work and Clint was alone again, he started thinking about the way he snapped at Phil, Tony had a point. He realized he was hiding, spending all his time with Kate so he didn't have to deal with what had happened. His shoulder ached from all the shooting today but that didn't stop him from grabbing his bag and heading to the practice range at Stark Tower.

"Good Evening Mr. Barton" Jarvis chimed 'You just can't sneak around Stark Tower!' Clint thought as he headed to the range. He could feel someone watching him "Hi Natasha" he said to the shadows.

"You know for not being an Avenger you sure use the facilities a lot" she walked up beside him "heading to the range?" she asked "and with out your nurse! Clint I'm shocked" she had a hint of anger in her voice.

"Natasha….that's unnecessary" he shot back

"No Clint what's unnecessary is hurting a team member, I have seen Phil cry more times than I want!"

Clint started lining up and shooting arrows as the muscles in his shoulder twinge in pain.

"You need to stop hiding behind her Clint, what happened to the independent assassin I knew?" Tasha fired her gun at the target, headshot.

Clint let out a sigh "Tasha he's gone, because this happened" he turned lifting up his shirt revealing his scar "that was done to me by my team mate, how do I deal with Bruce now?" Three more arrows embedded themselves into the bull's-eye on his target.

Natasha was speechless, that's something that he is going to have to live with for the rest of his life "Why not talk to the Director about taking the position day by day?" honestly all she wanted was her best friend back.

"Will it get you off my back?" he winced at the pain in his shoulder became more apparent.

Natasha smiles "Yup!"

Clint put down the bow and called Director Fury

"Welcome back Agent Barton" Fury said as they ended the call.

'Maybe this would work' he thought as he dropped his bow on the couch and headed out to bring his clothes and things back to Stark Tower. 'Goodbye crummy old apartment, I wont be missing you!" he thought as he handed the key back to his smelly landlord.

Phil was in his office when he got the email, the header read:

'Agent Barton Status'

He clicked on the email as his heart raced, and then in the hallway he heard Clint laugh, the sound made him go crazy, he got up and stood in the doorway watching Tasha helping Clint with his bags.

Clint looks up mid laugh and sees Phil in the doorway 'Breathe Clint, Take it slow' he thought as he smiled at him.

As night set over New York the Avengers were in the front room trying to relax over a movie. Clint looked around and was happy he was back even if it was surreal. Phil chose to sit next to Clint but he kept enough distance that they never touched and Tasha rested her back against Clint's legs while she sat on the floor. He smiled at the familiarity.

Tony gets up and pours a drink for himself "I'm glad we are all back together" he raises his glass.

As night progresses people start to head to bed, until Phil and Clint are left alone. Clint started to feel awkward, "Well I'm headed to bed" he said.

"Me too" Phil replied, they both got up from the couch, Clint stopped at his door, trying to read were Phil was going to go, he knew that Phil's room became and office when they started dating and the couch in there wasn't exactly comfortable.

"Night" Phil said

Clint felt bad, he shifted his weight and finally said "Look Phil, I know that couch is like sleeping on a brick" he paused trying to think if this really was a good idea, he shook his head and just said what his heart wanted " You can stay with me, I mean hell, your stuff is all in here anyway!" he cracked a half smile, not wanting to face the rejection that could be coming, he walked into the bedroom and turned his back on Phil.

Within minutes the door opened behind him "Are you sure you want me here? I don't think I can deal with another disappearing act from you Clint" Phil was clearly hurt.

"Phil, it will take time to get back to before, but there is no reason for you to sleep on the couch" Clint smiled "Fury is making me see a specialist to work on dealing with this all, and if your willing to wait I'll be back, but if not I understand" his voice was shaking as he got into bed.

Phil laughed as he joined Clint in bed "I'm still here aren't I, the only way I'm leaving is if you get me reassigned again!" he kissed Clint on the cheek "Darling I have all the time in the world" and with that both of the agents fell asleep in each others arms.

'I guess I'm home' Clint thought before he fell asleep.


	16. The Return

"Clint, open the door! I have breakfast" Kate said as she knocked on his door "Come on its not even that early!" she joked.

"You're barking up the wrong tree lady, he moved out yesterday" A man said, he reeked of cigarettes.

"Moved out? Are you sure?" she questioned, "Did he tell you where too?"

"Look lady, he told me to keep the deposit and gave me the key to the place back, him and some redhead took his stuff and left. Hate to break it to you, I think you're the other woman!" he said.

Kate couldn't help but giggle "Thanks" she said as she turned to leave". Well I guess he went back to Stark Tower, she had basically lost him now, she threw out breakfast and called his cellphone.

Clint could hear his phone buzzing away on the table as Phil stirred next to him. He chose to ignore it and cuddled up to Phil's warm body, and drifted back to sleep.

'Voicemail' She thought 'I guess he's back to being the busy Agent' She sighed and headed home to watch crappy TV alone before work.

"Good afternoon Agents, It's 1pm the weather in New York is 32 degrees, and there is a slight chance of rain" Jarvis said.

Clint felt Phil get up from the bed, he stretched out "Do you have to go somewhere?" he asked.

"Nope, just got hungry" he chuckled "fancy a spot of lunch in bed" Clint just nodded as Phil headed to the kitchen.

"Someone look like they had a good night" Tony stated "Guess you didn't spend it on your couch, how is Clint anyway?"

Phil had his head stuck in the fridge " He's fine, just hungry" he closed the fridge door and smiled knowing that Tony would be thinking the worst, and he headed back to the bedroom.

Clint had fallen back asleep while Phil had gone, laying on his front spread across the entire bed, all Phil could do was smile, the sheet was hugging the archers body in all the right places, making him go wild.

'Take it slow' Phil thought as he placed the food down and carefully got back into bed and ran his hand along Clint's spine "Babe" he said watching him stir and lift up his head, he sleepily smiled and placed his head on Phil's chest. "5 more minutes…. please" he whined.

"I'm not forcing you to get up silly" he smiled as he felt Clint's lips on his chest, his heart fluttered, he drew his arm around Clint's exposed back.

"I hope you know that I love you, and never stopped loving you" Clint said

Phil could feel the emotion rushing over him. "Me too babe, me too" his voice started shaking and Clint sat up and kissed him, Phil couldn't stop himself and he jumped on top of Clint and was kissing him roughly, his hands exploring his bare chest.

Clint pushed Phil off and stood up, trying to hide his hard on with a pillow, "I said it would take time, Phil" he looked like he was slightly embarrassed by the fact his body wasn't agreeing with his mind.

"I know Clint but I feel that not all of you agrees with your choices" his eyes shot to his restricting underwear.

Clint sighed and grabbed his towel and headed to the en-suite, Phil followed him hoping to get some more action. Clint kept his back to Phil as he turned on the shower; he knew where this was heading. He removed his boxers, releasing his throbbing hard on. 'This is going to be a lot harder than he planned' he thought. His body was completely ignoring his head as he felt Phil's body warmth get closer and kisses were placed along his back, his muscles contracted from Phil's touch.

They both entered the shower and Phil's mind when back to the last time they did this, back in Belize. He pushed Clint against the cold tile and started kissing his neck.

Clint allowed Phil to cover him in kisses, even though the whole time he knew it would drive him to run again. That was until Phil clearly wanted to get more, "Phil, please" Clint said as he stepped towards the water, washing himself.

"Don't you want this Clint?" Phil asked "Or are you gunna run off and see Kate, I saw she called you this morning!". Phil automatically regretted saying that as Clint got out of the shower and threw on clothes and slammed the bedroom door. 'I'm such an idiot' Phil thought as he dried himself off.

Clint walked past Tasha's room "Fancy the range?" he asked, Tasha knew him well enough to know that this was his way of a) Blowing off steam and b) talking about things, she got up and followed him.

"I just don't get it Tasha! Does he not get what I mean by it will take time" Clint fired arrows at his targets "And that comment about Kate! I didn't even know she called, he's making me feel like a teenager!" Clint missed the target "FUCK! I missed".

Tasha was keeping her eye on Clint's body language as he spoke "Maybe him staying in your room isn't a good idea, it makes him feel like you guys are normal again? As for Kate he's extremely jealous of this woman, which by the way you haven't dished the gossip to me yet either! As much as returning to the team and seeking the specialist out is for you Phil is dealing with it too, in fact why not take him along to a session?" She kept her eyes pinned on Clint, he kept missing targets and she could tell he was getting angry.

"Take him along? I guess that could help, kinda like couples therapy HA!" he fired again and missed " FUCK! And as for gossip there really wasn't and isn't any' Natasha watched him as she saw his tell sign.

"You, Clint Barton are lying! OH MY GOD did you sleep with her! You and vagina…No it can't be true!" she joked.

Clint sighed, the main problem of having spy friends is you can't have secrets. "Me and vagina, Nat if that was true you know I'd only have eyes for yours" he laughed "We didn't have sex, sheesh. She may have kissed me and I returned the favor"

"Clint Barton! You little SLUT!" Tasha punched him in the arm "This whole time I knew there was something, as soon as Phil said you were at the Breslin in a suit!" finally Clint hit the bull's-eye.

"Thank god I thought I'd lost my mojo for a second there" he said looking over at Natasha.

"I blame kissing girls" she said

Clint grabbed her and kissed her on the lips and then proceeded to tickle her. "There now you can stop being jealous of Kate" he kept laughing as she squirmed beneath him.

She was in shock but also hated Clint for the tickle fight that was going on, Tasha heard the door open, and Clint finally stopped his attack.

"Agent Barton there is someone here for you" Cap said as he watched him get off Natasha and walk out.

"Thanks Cap" he said as the door closed behind him.

"Ms. Romanoff" he said while helping her up "I thought Clint was gay?"

She let out a laugh "Cap he was just tickling me, he's still gay as ever!"

Steve felt stupid, he really misread the situation "Oh" his face reddened.

"Mr. Barton, I'm Dr. West, I'm here as your SHIELD appointed therapist" she walked forward thrusting her hand out.

'Fury would send a woman! Keep Phil from getting too jealous I suppose' he thought "Okay Doc, lets do this" he said as he sat on the couch.

"Did you want to go somewhere more private?" She asked looking around at the lounge.

"Doc, at Stark Tower there is no privacy" he joked "Here is fine"

"Okay" she sat down getting out her notepad, "Lets start from the beginning and maybe we can touch on the incident today" she said. Clint closed his eyes 'Here we go' he thought


	17. Goodbye Doctor

Phil looked at the clock in his office as he rubbed his eyes. 7:30pm and yet he was exhausted, there was a knock on the door.

He sighed "Come in"

Clint came bounding in, closing the door behind him and jumped on Phil's desk knocking everything off. "CLINT!" Phil tried to ask annoyed but couldn't wipe the smile off his face. "Someone's happy" Phil said as he watched Clint drape his legs around his chair.

"That doctor is a genius!" Clint smiled "We will be back to our old ways before you know it" he winked as he pulled the desk chair closed to him with his legs.

Phil loved the attention but a part of him knew it could be short lived. "Did she give you happy pills, Barton? You know that would have to go on your file" he joked.

"I guess this is what I'm like when all my secrets have been spoken out loud" he kissed Phil and grasped the back of his neck.

Phil's mind ran to his deepest fantasies, All the nights he had imagined bending Clint over his desk! He felt his suit pants tighten at the thought, Clint slipped off the desk into Phil's lap, feeling his engorged member.

"Someone's excited to see me" Clint chuckled as he leant in and whispered in Phil's ear "I bet you have already imagined this, you dirty boy" he felt Phil's erection try and jump to attention at his words "Now it's a good thing I locked the door, lets have some fun" he slipped off Phil's jacket and undid his tie.

Phil was practically panting, he grabbed the collar of Clint's shirt, and easily ripping the fabric and pushing him back against the desk, his desires taking over. "Lets have some fun" He said as he tied Clint's wrists together with his tie.

"Kinky Bitch" Clint laughed as Phil flipped him on his front and practically ripped off his pants, easing a finger into Clint, who let out a moan. Phil entered a second finger, his body wanting to take Clint right there! He removed his fingers, Clint whimpered from the emptiness; Phil undid his pants and grabbed the lubricant from his desk draw. "Babe when I'm done with you, your hips will have bruises from this desk" Phil said as he slammed Clint against the desk, filling him.

Clint couldn't help but let out a moan, when did his lover become so forceful! He loved it as he felt his hips smash into the desk with every thrust, it was pushing him closer and closer to the edge.

With every thrust Phil could tell his lover was getting close to climaxing, he loved watching his muscles tense and his body rise and fall. He smashed Clint into the desk

again and he felt him clench and let out a deep moan as he released, Phil followed suit not much later.

They both stayed there panting, "Fucking hell Phil! I bet you were the quiet one in school" Clint joked as Phil released his wrists.

"Hey they never expect the quiet one" he kissed Clint's wrists where the tie had left red marks and then moved up to his lips. "I think everyone is going to know what we just did" Phil looked at Clint's ripped shirt and the bruises that were forming at his hips.

Clint messed up Phil's hair "Oh well" he said "its not like they think we are virgins! Now lets go get some dinner!" he unlocked the door and headed into the hall.

Phil put his tie back on trying to look less disheveled and headed out the door, Clint had his head buried in the fridge as he was talking to Natasha who was perched on the breakfast bar enquiring about his ripped shirt, "Practicing your fighting to rough again Clint" she laughed, he let a sly smile sneak across his face as he put the food out on the counter.

"You could say that" He winked at Phil " Wanna wash up and help me cook Phil?"

Phil smiled he's really gunna have to thank that doctor "Sure babe" he went over to the sink as he heard Clint's phone ring.

'Hey Kate, Sorry I didn't call you back…yea ive been busy..Uh training…yea"

Phil felt a slight twinge of jealousy but knew better than to mention it, he started cutting up the vegetables on the board. "Hey Phil, next time maybe don't bruise him so bad" Natasha was pointing to Clint's waist " we have physicals soon". Phil felt a smile on his face as he watched his man walk around the kitchen on the phone.

He let out a laugh "Woops" he said as he felt Clint's arms wrap around his waist and a kiss get planted on his neck. Putting the phone back in his pocket Clint started to prepare the chicken.

After finishing dinner Phil felt like everything was settling back into place as he looked over at his lover as he cleaned the dishes, he had got him back, he got everything back.

"Oh Phil, I'm forewarning that jealous giant in you, Kate is coming over, its time for my check up" he smiled as he watched Phil's face scrunch up in disapproval "You can be present if you like, but I may not be able to get the picture of you in a nurse outfit out of my head" he chuckled.

"I'll pass Ms. Bishop may mistake your boner as excitement for her" he paused as he walked behind Clint and grabbed his neck making him gasp "And that's not right because your all mine" he gently bit Clint's neck making him moan in response.

"Yes, Sir" he said "Now that's not fair, you got me all excited and she will be here in 15 minutes" Clint looked at Phil with a sad face, as Phil pulled him into the bedroom and started taking off his lovers pants.

"We will have to release some tension before the doctor arrived wont we" Phil said as he grasped Clint's cock and ran his tongue over the tip making Clint's entire body tense. Phil took this as a sign and took his entire length in this mouth, slowly moving back and forth. Clint let out a satisfied moan as he put his hand in Phil's hair. Clint was guiding Phil with his hand now grasping his hair, until he felt the closeness of an orgasm hit him, before long he was moaning loudly releasing into Phil's mouth. Clint could hardly stay upright as he heard JARVIS announce Kate's arrival.

Clint quickly pulled up his pants and rushed to meet Kate, he turned to Phil before leaving "Wait until you get yours" he winked and opened the door, still fixing his pants. "Hey Kate" he felt a flush of embarrassment as he finally got his belt sorted.

"Clint, Are you okay? Your shirts all ripped" Kate asked

"Oh..Uh..Yea! I'm Fine" he threw the shirt off as Phil opened the bedroom door.

"Hello Ms. Bishop" Phil said as he watched her face as it all started to make sence

She noticed the bruises on Clint and averted her eyes "Hello Phil, Clint are you ready?" She couldn't help it her face went red.

"Ready as ill ever be Doc" Clint said as they worked to the infirmary

"So I guess you and Phil are doing better" Late asked as she checked his healing scars.

"Doc, careful what you ask while your down there, I could take out your eye" he couldn't stop laughing as he watched Kate's face go red as she backed up.

"Uh your all good Agent" She said "minus this bruising, you need to be more careful remember you are an Avenger again, And keep an eye on those" She was trying to keep back the tears, knowing there friendship had changed so quickly.

Clint noticed a tear fall down her face, "Kate, what's wrong, I was just kidding" he lifted up her head "Darling what's wrong?"

Kate couldn't help but let her emotions take over "Clint our friendship has basically ended" She sniffed "Your back with SHIELD, back in Stark Tower and with Phil…I just don't fit it"

Clint was shocked at what Kate was saying "Don't fit in, Kate what in the world are you talking about" he wiped the tears off her face "you being here right now proves you wrong, I may not be able to hang out as much , but your still the woman that helped me get back on my feet" he smiled at her " Even being back with Phil is thanks to you! Now stop being silly Kate, I'm still here"

Kate took in a deep breath to try and stop crying and placed her hands on his bare chest, and let out a sigh. "And right now all I want is you Clint" she stole a kiss from him as the door opened and Tony was standing in the doorway.

"Lady you have got to be my Doctor!" he couldn't believe what he was seeing as he turned to leave.

Clint grabbed Kate's hands off his chest and threw them down, throwing a glare in her direction, "Tony wait!" he grabbed Stark's shoulder "it's not what it looks like"

"Keep your pants on Hawkboy, I wont tell your beloved Coulson" Tony smirked as he walked away.

Clint turned his attention back to Kate, his anger was apparent in his eye's "Doctor I think its time you leave" he walked towards the elevator and Kate shyly followed.

A smiling Phil was waiting for them "Doctor Bishop, how is the patient, Good to get back to his rigorous training?" He winked at Clint as he saw a sly grin sneak across the archers face.

Kate felt like a punished teenager being walked out "Agent Coulson, Agent Barton is fine, I just told him to keep an eye on his hip bruising" she responded quietly as Clint pushed the elevator button. "Goodbye Kate" he said his eyes felt like they were shooting out death rays.

"Goodbye Agent" she knew she had pushed the line, as the elevator doors closed she watched Phil embrace Clint, He was smiling at her over Clint's shoulder, he knew he had won.

"We must keep an eye on your bruises Barton" Phil said mocking Kate's instructions "I'd prefer it if we could make some more" Phil had a devilish smile on his face.

Clint pushed back his feelings of guilt about not telling Phil about the kiss and said "well its my turn to help you to relieve some of your stress" he winked "the question is where would you like it boss" he practically groped Phil "Any more fantasy's we can act out" Clint whispered as Phil let out a moan.

Phil grabbed Clint's hand and dragged him into his office, as the door closed her let the lock clunk into place.

Clint pushed Phil into his office chair "Office sex again, you kinky fucker" he laughed "Do you trust me Phil?"

"Of course I do, why?" He asked as he watched Clint undo his tie and walk behind him.

Clint blindfolded Phil with his own tie and whispered in his ear "Because I', going to enjoy this, Watching you scream my name" he kissed Phil's neck as he tied his hands together with his phone cord.

"And you call me the kinky one" Phil said as he tested his restraints, he felt Clint unzipping his pants, the friction making him get even more aroused Clint's hands pulled out Phil's throbbing cock.

"Well someone is happy to see me " Clint said as he circled his thumb over the engorged head wiping up the beads of pre cum.

All Phil could do was let out a moan, hearing movement but not being about to tell what was going on was driving him mad! Then suddenly he felt the moisture of Clint's breath hit the head of his cock, he involuntarily thrust forward wanting Clint to tak him in. It felt like years before he felt Clint's tongue running up and down his shaft, he then finally put Phil's cock in his mouth making it touch the back of his throat. Phil was going wild, struggling with his restraints wanting to touch his man before he gave way to his orgasm.

Moving faster on Phil's cock Clint loved having this control, he felt his lovers muscles tensing up as he got close and closer to the edge.

"FUCK!CLINT!I….I…CAN'T' Phil was struggling to make sentences, he finally let his body take the lead, engulfed in his orgasm he released into Clint's mouth almost shaking from the intensity, he felt Clint release his wrists and slowly remove his makeshift blindfold, Clint kissed Phil gently, making sure his hand brushed Phil's crotch as he said "The doors unlocked, lets make this interesting" he winked "still trust me?" he asked.

"With my life" Phil responded still panting from his last session.

"Well then call someone in for there review and lets see how long you last with me under the desk" he slyly grinned "JARVIS can you get Natasha to come in here please" Clint asked as he got under the desk and winked.

"Of course sir" JARVIS responded.

Phil couldn't believe what was happening 'Kinky fucker' he thought as the door opened

"you needed me Agent Coulson?" Natasha asked

Phil felt Clint under the desk his hands exploring his crotch "Uh…Yes" he jumped a little "Its time for you review" he said as he watched Natasha sit.

"Okay Coulson, what's the deal? A late night review, I'm fine since my injury and a lot better since Clint's been back" she seemed a little annoyed.

Clint was working his magic on Phil's crotch and Phil was trying his hardest not to moan. "I…I..Just wanted to check how you were doing…." He let out a slight moan "Since uh since your injury" he started stuttering, the urge to explode was so tempting, he had to end the meeting "But hey you say your fine, so uh you can uh goooooo" Phil basically broke into a moan.

"Phil! Are you okay?" Natasha looked worried

"F F F Fine Ms. Romanoff, if you wouldn't mind c c closing the door on your way out" Phil grabbed Clint's hair under the desk making him pause as she looked at him puzzled.

"uh…Okay, Have you seen Clint?" Tasha knew this would help her figure out what was going on, as she watched Phil's hands beneath the desk she realized what was happening "CLINT BARTON you are a kinky fucker" She slammed the office door.

Clint took this as his cue to make Phil cum, as quickly as possible he fastened his movements, making his lover moan until he felt that warmth flow into his mouth and he swallowed.

Getting out from under the desk he smiled "Maybe having a spy wasn't my best choice, but I'm glad I can make you moan in public" he kissed Phil and started to head for the door.

"Clint!" Phil sounded hurt "Where are you going?"

"Time for training" he smiled "Gotta keep fit" he winked "your not always around for me to fuck" he said as he closed the door.

Phil was sad to see his lover leave, but he looked at the stack on unfinished work on his desk, grabbing the files and getting stuck in.


	18. The job

"CLINT FUCKING BARTON that is in no way funny" Tasha was furious "get to training I have some serious anger to work off"

'This could end badly' Clint thought "Tasha, Babe it was just a joke"

"Sweet talking wont help you Barton! I'm all for you and Phil, but not fucking infront of me! You know I love you, but that was fucked up and you know it" she stood on the training mat waiting for him to join her.

"Okay your right, now lets not break my bones. I would really like to stay out of the infirmary for at least a month" he smiled as he joined her, getting flipped on his back straight away

Phil's mind was somewhere else when JARVIS brought him back to the real world. "Director Fury is on the line sir"

"Okay JARVIS" Phil reluctantly said

"Agent Coulson, I need you in New Mexico with Thor!" Fury boomed

"Sir?" Phil was shocked by the request

"your jet is waiting, you will be briefed on the way, see you in a couple hours Agent" the line went dead.

Phil went into work mode grabbing his travel bag, calling Thor as he went to the training room, when he made it Clint was being flipped by Natatsha "Sorry Natasha can I steal your punch bag for a second" his face reddened as he flashed back to the last encounter.

Clint looked up at Phil from the mat "Punch bag? I'm letting her win!" Clint let a smile spread across his face "What's up lover boy" he said as he got up , noticing Phil's backpack "where are you going? I can be ready in 5 minutes, I can…" Phil placed a finger on Clint's lips cutting him off.

" I wont be gone long, but I have to go alone" he kissed Clint gently "Now go have fun 'letting Natasha win' " Phil smiled

"But..I..I..I just got you back, you can't leave me!" Clint's voice wobbled

"Agent Coulson your jet has arrived" JARVIS announced

Phil brought his forehead to Clint's so there eyes met "I love you baby", then turned to leave.

Clint stood there motionless, until Natasha touched his shoulder, "He's coming back, now stop sulking and get back to training" she knew this was the only way to keep him focused.

Phil jumped on the jet sitting next to Thor "Son of coul how are you!" Thor's voice boomed around the jet "How is the Hawk doing, better I hope, he is a valuable asset"

Phil held in his laugh 'Valuable ass more like' he thought, "I'm fine and so is Agent Barton" Phil smiled

"Why New Mexico?" Thor questioned

"Until my briefing arrives" he held up his Stark Pad "your guess is as good as mine"

The Stark pad made a noise "Agent Coulson your briefing has arrived shall I play it for you?" JARVIS enquired

"Yes Please" Phil responded as the screen came to life playing the brief in his headphones,

'This is what is known so far Agents: The Tesseract was taken by SHIELD to be studied, The brightest team was assembled, but we are missing our key scientist Eric Selvig' Eric's file came up on the screen ' Your job is to find him and bring him to our remote headquarters'

Phil sighed yet another babysitting job

Clint and Natasha were dripping with sweat when they decided to call it quits, "Agent Barton, Director Fury is on the line" JARVIS announced as Clint groaned as he stood up.

"This better be good news Director" he stated wiping the sweat from his brow.

"Agent Barton, i need you to report to security detail at SHIELD headquarters immediately" Clint sighed.

"Can I at least shower Sir? I just finished training" he looked over at Tasha who just shrugged

"30 mins Barton, bring all your gear" Fury said as he hung up.

"Well he's in a good mood" Clint said as he headed for the shower

"Maybe Phil will be there" Tasha smiled as she closed her bedroom door.

It took 25 minutes for Clint to have all his gear and be in his all black tactical SHIELD uniform, as he stood waiting for his jet bracing himself against the wind, he wished he had asked Fury about the job he was going into, like why did he need his guns and bow? He hated going in blind.

When the jet finally arrived, Clint sat down and was handed a folder with his job detail, it read:

SHIELD TOP SECRET

THE TESSERACT

This item is classified, for need to know only.

The Tesseract was found with Col. Steven Rogers (alias: Captain America) in the ice, SHIELD is assembling a team of scientists to study the 'Cosmic Cube' to help us create phase 2 (CLASSIFIED).

Agent Clint Barton your job is to run a security detail and keep watch over the 'Cosmic Cube' we need information relayed over secure connection to Director Nick Fury every 24 hours, The scientist you will be assigned to is Doctor Eric Selvig and his team of NASA scientists.

BE AWARE THIS IS A TOP SECRET MISSION, YOU ARE NOW ON A MEDIA BLACK OUT, THE FOLLOWING IS PROHIBITED AS PER USUAL SHIELD STANDARDS:

CELLPHONES

EMAILS

TEXTING

ANY SOCIAL NETWORKS

ALL JARVIS RELATED PRODUCTS

Clint sighed as he read his file and switched off his phone 'Great yet another babysitting job, and no way to tell Phil where he was' he thought

"Agent Barton we will be touching down in 10 minutes the Director asked that you be ready to work straight away" The co-pilot said. Clint stood up grabbing his leg holster from his bag and putting it in its pace, checking his weapon, his trusty bow was left in the bag, on security he usually just needed his heckler & koch P30, he smiled as he felt the cold metal, 'That gun had saved his life a few times' he thought as he put on his gloves as the back hatch opened.

"Agent Barton, good to see you walking again: Agent Dipllio smiled "This way please"

'Great Babysitting with this bitch!' Clint thought as he grabbed his bags. "So where is my assignment?" he asked, cutting straight to business, he didn't have time for small talk with this woman.

"Dr. Selvig is M.I.A in New Mexico at the moment, you will be keeping an eye on the cube until Thor and Agent Coulson bring him in" She pointed to the bunks "you can leave your bag here Agent"

"So now I'm here to baby-sit a cube, Great!" Clint said making the sarcasm obvious.

"Director Fury believes you're the best man for the job, he even had us set up your precious nest" Agent Dipillo was starting to show anger at his lack of caring. She pointed to the room where scientists were busying themselves, "Good luck Agent Barton, lets not fuck this one up" she said as she walked away.

Clint felt his hand go to his weapon, the desire to kill that bitch was all to real. He took a deep breath in and walked into the room, surveying it so he would know what he was looking at. He climbed up into his nest, crouching down he got straight into his job.

Thor was busy with Jane trying to find the Doctor, When Phil saw this as his opportunity to check in with Clint, he dialed his number…Voicemail, his phone was switched off, Phil automatically dialed Natasha.

"If your calling to find your man, I am not your messaging service Phil" Tasha was clearly annoyed by the disruption " But Fury called him on a case" and with that she hung up.

'Strange' Phil thought 'I should have been informed'

"Son of coul! Jane has Erik on the phone! Lets get him to the base" Thor boomed as he walked up to Phil, he lowered his tone "Any chance I could stay here with Ms. Foster, Phil?" he asked

Phil just smiled "Sure big guy just keep in contact incase we need you" He watched Thor go back to Jane as tell her the good news. He said his goodbyes as he went to get Selvig.

"Agent Barton report" Clint's com boomed in his ear, he got up from his perch and slid down the rope, and walked over to the doorway.

"You should be happy to know Agent Coulson has Dr. Selvig and will be here in 30 minutes" Dipilio stated "Perhaps we can get you doing some real work" she smirked as she watched Clint's hand drop to his weapon "holding a grudge are we agent? You wouldn't are give up all this to kill me" she leaned in "you are to weak to give up Phil"

This woman knew all of the right buttons to push with Clint, he unlatched his gun, he knew he wouldn't use it but he enjoyed watching the Agent step back. "Darling I know how to kill and make it look like an accident" he said as he slid the latch back on his gun and walked away

"COWARD" she yelled after him, and turned to leave.

Phil and Erik touched down at the headquarters "I didn't even know SHIELD was looking for me, sorry they dragged you away, are you still with that cellists?" Erik genuinely felt bad.

"Just doing my job Erik, and no she moved, I found someone closer to home" Phil smiled, a part of him was hoping Clint would be here and the other part was happy that he was getting to catch up with Selvig.

They were escorted into Selvig's lab where technicians were already prepping for the arrival. "Agent Coulson you look tired" his heart skipped a beat as he recognized his lovers voice over the com and he started scouring the skyline.

Selvig was already getting into his work when Phil saw Hawkeye's nest, he wanted to run up there and cuddle his man, when he saw him walking towards the doctor.

"Dr. Selvig, I'm Agent Barton, I have been assigned to this project as security detail, if you need anything ill be in my nest" he stuck out his hand to the doctor

Erik shook his hand and let out a laugh "you have a nest? Phil where do you pick up these agents!"

"I'm also known as Hawkeye sir, best marksman alive, I see better from a distance" he looked over at Phil and smiled

"Dr. Selvig, Agent Barton is our best agent for the job" Phil smiled.

"Whatever Phil as long as I can work in peace, and you will have to tell me more about this lady closer to home later" he asked as he started working on the new project.

Clint couldn't help but laugh "he's a beam of joy, and what's this about a lady close to home?" he said to Phil.

Phil just turned towards Clint "Why didn't you call to tell me you had been assigned to security detail"

Clint's face dropped "Are you really upset! You were on a mission, And I'm not the one keeping secrets" he touched Phil's arm.

"Can we go to the nest and talk about this" Phil said as he watched Clint smile, having Phil go into his nest was a dream for him.

Clint grabbed Phil's hand practically dragging him onto the structure before putting it high in the sky , once they were in place Clint put his arm around Phil's waist and pulled him close lightly kissing his cheek.

"I was really hopping you were here" Phil said "But I really don't like finding out your on a mission from your team mates, not just from a professional point of view babe but as your boyfriend, and Erik just assumed I was talking about a woman" Phil pulled Clint into a kiss " I don't want to see you in hospital again"

"Babe! I have to work! This isn't even dangerous; My biggest threat is electrocution" he smiled as Phil wrinkled his face.

Phil went to argue when their coms came to life "Agent Coulson, please report to my office" Fury barked as Phil headed for the controls to the nest he turned to Clint "back to work Agent" he smiled as he left. Clint made sure to take his time watching his lover leave, his perfect ass in his pressed suit paints 'DAMN' Clint thought.

When Phil finally reached Fury's office he could tell the man was stressed, he was starting to wear away the carpet from all the pacing. "Sir?" Phil said as he heard Nick clear his throat.

"I see Thor stayed with Jane, Does he know we have the tesseract?" Fury asked

"I don't believe so sir, my briefing was for my eyes only" he cleared his throat "Why would we not want a Norse god on our side?" Phil felt uneasy as he asked Fury for the truth.

"Well Phil, the cosmic cube happens to be from the relms of Thor, we are studying it so we can be prepared for any threats from his world" Fury continued to pace "And of course Agent, this is all Classified, even for your Hawk!"

Phil hated how Fury went so easily from friend to boss, 'his Hawk' he thought, 'Did Fury really think that he would tell his partner classified information'

"Yes, sir I understand" Phil finally responded

Fury handed Phil the emergency evacuation information for the headquarters "Study it Agent, Just in case, your dismissed" Fury said

"Yes Sir" Phil headed for the door 'what are we dealing with here!' he thought as he closed the door.


	19. Hawk's dislike ice

'What a mindless job this turned out to be' Clint thought as he check his watch, hour 20 passed and nothing had happened, well except for Selvig falling asleep on his keyboard. He sighed while he surveyed the room for what felt like the hundredth time.

Hours past until finally something happened, a large jolt of energy cracked into the room Clint jumped to attention "Uh Director" Clint said into his com "you might want to come see this" he looked as another bolt of blue energy escaped from the cube.

Fury rushed into the room talking to Eric about what was going on. Clint couldn't tell it wasn't good; he took Fury's questionable looks to the ceiling as his cue to join them on the ground.

"The Tesseract is misbehaving" Selvig stated

"Can we shut it down?" Fury asked

"Director it's a self sustaining power source, we shut it off, it turns itself back on" Selvig moved towards the banks of computers as more cracks of electricity boomed through the room.

Fury's brow furrowed "Agent Coulson we need to initiate a full evac of this base" Fury barked his orders and turned to Cling "Agent Barton stay on your target, until further notice".

"Yes Sir" Clint replied, his heart wanted to be with Phil but something didn't feel right in the room. Fury stormed out

"Keep me updated Barton" he yelled as he ran down the stairs.

More electrical booms rang out "How's it going Doc?" Clint kept his eye on the cube as he asked.

"I'm trying everything Agent" Selvig spat back the long hours catching up to him

Suddenly the temperature in the room dropped and all the electronics' in the room started going crazy. "Fury I hope you got everyone out" Clint said over his com as a bright blue light cut through the room, knocking everyone off there feet. As Clint got back to his feet he saw a mass form behind the cube, his training kicked in he had his gun ready to fire 'Dammit why don't I have my fucking bow!' he thought as he saw Fury in the doorway.

The mass Clint had spotted stood up 'is that a man' Clint thought

"Sir, Please drop the spear" Fury yelled as he placed himself in front of Clint, who just shifted his weight, to realign his kill shot on the man.

The man leapt, taking out 3 agents with ease, his spear shot towards the Director as Clint jumped on Fury knocking him out of the way, his entire weight came slamming down on Fury's chest, Clint jumped up as he realized the man was next to him.

"You have heart," the man said to Clint as he placed his spear on the archer's chest.

Everything was happening so fast, 'How did this man get around so quickly, he got to me before I could even draw my gun' Clint thought as he felt a coldness from the mans spear wash over him. He felt his arm place his gun back in its holster, 'what the fuck am I doing! GET THE GUN OUT BARTON' he thought to himself. It was like he was trapped inside his head and someone else was being puppet master. Shaking his head trying to dislodge the fogginess of his mind.

"I am Loki King of Asgard and I am burdened with glorious purpose" an evil gin covered his face; Clint couldn't stop himself from walking towards the man.

Fury helped Selvig to his feet "Asgard? Loki? As in the Brother of Thor/" Selvig asked, Loki's face hardened at the sound of his brothers name.

"You misguardians see him as a god and yet I am his King" Loki was clearly aggravated by his brothers fondness of this place called 'Earth'.

Clint felt like his brain was going to explode, he kept hearing so many voices, he tried to clear his mind and think of anything that would bring him back, his memories finally broke through the cloud, nights came flooding back, drinking with Tony, kissing Phil for the first time, joining the Avengers….'The tesseract" something whispered in his ear, and the uncontrollable urge to protect this being who called himself Loki, took precedence over his memories bringing him back into the fog.

"Please don't: Loki kept his face still " I still need that" he turned towards Fury who was trying to pack up the tesseract

Selvig walked towards Loki trying to buy sometime " Why does the King of Asgard need the tesseract, its been here for over 70 years!"

Loki saw this as his opportunity "Let me open your mind Doctor" he said as the spear was placed on his chest "Let's go" he said to Clint.

Fighting as much as he could, he didn't want to follow these orders but his body and mouth wouldn't listen. Whispers in his head came back "The Tesseract must be mine', he saw Fury with the silver case with the tesseract inside and he drew his gun and fired at the Director.

"FUCK' he thought 'I just killed my fucking boss' he just grabbed the case and followed Loki out the room.

Fury had been thrown to the floor by the power of the gunshot, 'What is going on! His best agent just tried to assassinate him!' he thought as he radioed the team. "Agent Barton has turned, I repeat Agent Barton has turned and has the cube"

Phil was helping the final people into a truck when he heard Fury over the com, he couldn't move 'so much for a simple security job' he thought when he heard Agent Dipillo's response "Director I've got him, they have a SHIELD truck, Hawkeye and two other hostiles" you could hear gunshots raining down over the com.

"Agent Coulson, how are we doing on the evacuation?" Fury knew he could be hearing his lover die and did his best to keep him occupied.

"Last truck is about to depart Sir" he replied trying to hide his worry.

"Get on that truck Coulson, That's an order" Fury knew this was the only way to get him to safety.

"Sir, I'm his handler, I…should" Phil's voice shook

"It's and order Agent" Fury boomed, Phil slumped into the truck.

"Director they are leaving the base" Dipillo broke into the argument

"Stop them at all costs" Fury boomed, Phil removed his Com as he saw Fury's helicopter take off, suddenly there was a rumble and what felt like an earthquake. Phil looked at the building, he couldn't believe what he was seeing, it was folding in on itself. He felt a tear slide down his face before he could catch it 'Dammit Barton what the FUCK are you doing' he thought as he composed himself and placed the com back in his ear.

"Sir…they got out of the tunnel, its collapsed in, a few of us are under" Dipillo sighed, she would of enjoyed shooting Barton!

"Agent Coulson, I am instating SHIELD protocol this is level 7, The Avengers need to be informed get them all to the helicarrier immediately" Fury was pissed.

"Yes sir" Phil frantically dialed Stark Tower

"Agent Coulson is on the line, He says its urgent" JARVIS boomed into Stark's lab

"When isn't it urgent with him" Tony said to Bruce

"Stark! We have an Issue! SHEILD protocol has been instated, you all need to suit up and get to the helicarrier" Phil's voice shook "It's Agent Barton"

Bruce looked up at Tony knowing that they would be leaving he started packing up.

Natasha heard the end of the conversation from the hallway 'Dammit Barton" she thought as she went to get her suit.

Within 10 minutes the team was assembled and where headed to the helicarrier to be briefed.

Phil met them at the deck when they arrived; in the short amount of time since his lover turned he had managed to become a mess. "Agents" he said to the team.

"I hope Hawkboy has valid insurance" Tony joked as Natasha elbowed him in the side, seeing Phil's face dropped.

"Follow me" Phil said "Fury's waiting"

They all sat down at the table to hear what had happened. "Agents we have a problem, Thor's brother has stolen the tesseract and taking captive Hawkeye and Selvig" Fury got straight to the point, keeping his eye on Thor.

"Director may I ask why you deemed it important to keep it a secret that the Asgardian property was in your warehouse" Thor stood up, clearly annoyed at being lied to "because of this Agent Barton is under my brothers control"

"Under his control" Phil butted in "what do you mean?"

xxxxxxxxx

Clint had done everything that his bigheaded son of a bitch asked, and yet he kept asking for more.

"So Barton, who is this Phil you keep mindlessly dreaming about?" he asked knowing that Clint would have to spill all the juicy gossip on his lover.

Clint tried everything not to let all his secrets spill out, but his mind felt like butter

"You misguardians are an intriguing race" Loki said as he walked behind Clint, he placed his hands on Clint's forehead taking all the memories of Phil and he pulled Clint's head back as he shifted into Phil's form.

"So what is it you love about this body" Loki asked as he looked down at his new form.

Clint felt his face flush as he was now face to face with his lover "Sir?"

"I do not understand your petty love for such a plain man" Loki touched Clint's cheek "Does this man really excite the worlds best marksman"

Loki's hand was freezing on Clint's cheek; it felt like a jolt of electricity followed his fingers. "Sir Agent Coulson is one of the highest performing SHIELD agents, he is a Avengers handler, Fury personally assigned him to me" Loki placed his hand over Clint's face.

"I didn't ask for his SHIELD file Agent. Tell me why you love him so much, that you could sacrifice everything, even your life to protect him" Loki delved deeper into the mans mind "And yet you left him, I do not understand"

Clint felt Loki's hands on his waist, "Sir I do not understand your order? How will this help our cause?" his mind felt fuzzy, he felt like parts of him were beginning to disappear. Suddenly he felt Loki's lips meet his, Loki's touch was dancing on his bottom lip waiting to be invited in, and Clint opened his lips to his invasive tongue. Clint hated the fact that his body was showing his arousal.

"Now the question is Agent Barton, are you aroused because its Phil? Or because its new?" Loki pulled away shifting back into himself.

Clint felt the cold of Loki's kiss linger as he opened his eyes, seeing his 'master' in front of him. His tactical pants restricting his arousal, he shifted himself to ease the feeling of the zipper that dug into his hard on.

"I…I Don't know Sir" Clint responded

Loki grabbed the Agent's crotch "This will be fun" a devilish grin spread across his face as Clint jumped and let out a moan.

xxxxxxxxx

"So what your telling me is out best agent has unwillingly joined the bad guys team, Oh and for all we know he could be spilling out all the secrets of SHIELD and the team" Fury had begun pacing again "Phil how much Level 7 knowledge does Agent Barton have?"

"He knows everything sire he was our first level 7 recruit, he helped plan the team with me" Phil was still in partial shock, Again his lover had been taken from him

Fury looked at Steve "Captain, you and Agent Romanoff will be our first line of defense, Loki will mess up and I want us to be there"

"Yes sir" Steve responded

Agent Dipillo ran in the room "Sir we have a hit on Barton's homing chip, I told you it was a good idea!" she said thrusting the coordinates into Fury's hand.

"That's your cue Agent Rogers" Fury said handing over the details " we need to get him back before Loki gets all the Level 7 information from him" Fury said as Steve and Natasha headed for the awaiting jet.

"I'm gunna say what everything is thinking" Stark stood up "Agent Barton has the worst luck ever" he stopped standing next to Phil, putting his hand on the his shoulder "Good thing he has us"

Fury let a smirk slide across his face "Tony's right" he said.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

For the first time ever all Clint wanted was to go home. Loki's mind tricks were draining him and his sexual advances just made matters worse.

Loki had taken them into a room so they could be alone, he had seen Clint's memories of being held captive before by the green monster, he wanted to see if he could break the man even more. He made the archer hold his hands up as he removed his shirt, Loki's eyes taking the beauty of his muscles that where covered with scars. " Agent Barton, you are not to struggle with what's about to happen" Loki slyly smiled as he bound Clint's wrists hands together behind his back.

Clint wanted to fight this man so badly and yet all he could do was say "Yes sir" he felt so useless.

Loki kicked at Clint's knees making him fall on his face "KNEEL" Loki spat.

Blood poured from Clint's nose as he propped himself up on his knees

"You humans are so easily breakable" Loki laughed at Clint's bloody face as he stood in front of the man. "lets see why you're the best agent" he kicked Clint in this chest making him sprawl out on the floor. "now agent show me how you pleasure your beloved Coulson"

Clint felt sick from the request but he knew he couldn't stop his body. Loki unlaced his pants allowing his cock to break free, against everything in his mind Clint took the throbbing member into his mouth making the god moan.

"I see why Phil stayed around" Loki said as he laced his hands through Clint's hair creating a faster pace "you have skills beyond your job agents" his breathing escalated as Clint moved faster. Loki was getting closer to the edge when he saw Clint's bulge and grabbed the man by the throat pushing him against the cold wall, his grip was so forceful Clint was gasping for air; his face began to turn a different color.

'This better not be how I die' Clint thought

"So easy to break" Loki said as he loosened his grip allowing air back into Clint's lungs and grabbed the archers bulging crotch unzipping the fly on his pants, allowing his cock to escape. "but you seem to be loving this agent" he smiled as his hand began rubbing up and down Clint's shaft, bringing him close to the edge, Clint's moaning showing Loki he was pleasing the man, he reached in his pocket and pulled out a leather strap that he tightened around Clint's swollen cock. "I'm not here to please you, get back on your knees" Loki said as he pushed him back down.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Steve and Natasha land near Hawkeye's homing beacon. "we need a plan, we have to be ready for our friend to attack us!" Cap said watching Natasha for a flinch, but found non. Steve's phone buzzed in his pocket, Tony Stark's name flashing up on the screen.

"Stark any idea on what we are dealing with?" Cap asked

"What no 'Hello Tony? You're a genius'" Tony joked "I have made some modifications to your phone, you now have JARVIS there with you, all the information we know on Barton and all that is on there. Before you freak out gramps it's all voice activated"

Steve sighed "Thank you Tony" he knew that was all the man wanted to hear.

"Be safe Steve, remember that Barton is a trained assassin" Tony said before hanging up the phone. Cap smiled at the fact Tony actually had some emotion.

"Jarvis?" Cap said staring at his phone, expecting it to be a well planned Stark trick.

"How can I help Col. Rogers?" His phone responded

"I need all the details on Barton's current whereabouts" Steve awkwardly said.

"Yes Sir" the machine replied

"Soooo Tony made you a Stark phone!" Natasha said "I think he is trying to get in your pants" She giggled

Steve didn't have any response for Natasha as everything downloaded to his phone. Barton is 7 buildings down and in the tunnels or basement according to this, but JARVIS could be wrong" Steve said almost not wanted to fully rely on Stark

"Cap when has Tony ever been wrong?...Let's go get our Agent back!" Natasha smiled as she headed for the door.

xxxxxxxxxx

Loki finally released into Clint's mouth, just before he did he released the leather strap, allowing Clint to explode on himself, feeling Clint drinking down all of the gods cum. "I guess it's good I picked the Avenger's slut to control" Loki laughed as he stared into the ice blue eyes of his new toy.

Loki walked away from the kneeling archer "Don't go anywhere"

"Yes sir" Clint plainly responded still bound with his cock out, covered in his own cum

Loki smiled at the knowledge that Clint could never say no, and he was stuck there exposed as his new plaything. He couldn't wait to explore what else he could do!


	20. Secrets

Steve and Natasha started the decent down towards the signal. "Cap did he know he was tracked? This seems to easy for Clint" Natasha finally spoke up "He is trained to hide for months, if it was me and I knew I had a tracker on my body that shit would have been cut out"

Cap just kept walking knowing Natasha was right "We have to hope he doesn't know" he responded as he looked at his Stark phone, they were directly above Barton. Cap signaled to Natasha and they headed down.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Clint felt so dirty, his conscious mind had retreated finally allowing the fuzziness to take control, he had been tied up in this room for what felt like an eternity when the door opened.

"Time to make yourself decent Agent" Loki said untying his hands "we have people to rule"

Clint stood up, rolling his wrists to get the blood flowing back to his fingers, zipping up his fly and brushing the dirt of his pants; he stood to attention awaiting his next order. He had finally got to the conclusion that he couldn't fight this control, he knew he looked like and was the gods plaything.

'….PROTECT THE TESSERACT….' The whispers returned and Clint knew his task as he walked over to the doctor who was tinkering with his latest build.

"This is wonderful, the tesseract has shown me so much, its more than knowledge, its truth" Selvig said.

Loki stepped forward from the shadows "I know! It touches everyone differently" Loki grinned as he flashed back to Clint's act in the other room.

Clint just stood there silently surveying the room for unusual activity; his shield training was keeping him on edge, when he heard gunfire in the distance. "Sir?" he looked at Loki who had worry across his face.

"I guess your up agent" Loki said watching the man walk towards the action.

The gunfire ceased as the last of Loki's soldier fell, Clint made to the room to see the Cap's shield fly past his head, he ducked just in time hearing Loki chuckle behind him "Don't damage my plaything, soldier" he barked as he fired, knocking Steve off his feet. Natasha rolled into the next room hoping to draw Clint away, and it worked.

Natasha felt an arrow pass her face as she ran up and took out his knees, she felt him go for his knife and she prepared herself for hand-to-hand combat.

Cap was still dealing with Loki, when he finally gave in and asked for help "Stark! Could really use you here" he grunted as he fell beneath his shield.

"On my way cap, what took you so long to ask" Stark said as he headed towards the fight.

Natasha's hair was pulled back as she let out a grunt, a knife at her neck, she finally decided to end this battle as she head butted Hawkeye and watched him drop to the floor unconscious, she used this opportunity to tie him up.

Stark blasted his way in, protecting the Cap who was sprawled out on the floor. Tony shot everything he had at the god, finally knocking the spear free, he snatched it up pointing it at Loki.

"Your move reindeer games" Stark said to the god lying on the floor, and he watched him shift into a green suit "Good choice". Tony turned to the Cap who was now on his feet holding his side "I thought I said to be careful Cap" he said as he watched the SHIELD extraction team pick up the god and cuff him "I brought some of my friends" he smiled.

Natasha walked back into the room, blood pouring from her head "Barton's down" she was trying to catch her breath watching the SHIELD team drag away the unconscious archer. "Shouldn't we find Selvig and the cube?" she asked looking at the other men, as they started to head out the door.

"Director Fury" Steve winced from the pain "We have Barton and the hostile in custody. We are heading to Selvig and the cube"

"Roger" Fury said.

" please stand away from the cube" Steve said preparing his shield to take and fire from the man.

"Col. Why would I walk away from the thing that has opened my eyes?" he asked "The cube has shown me the truth of the world"

Steve went to walk towards him, trying to reason with the man.

"Cap it helps to hit them in the head" Natasha said

Steve used his new knowledge and threw his shield at the doctor's head, watching him crumple to the floor from the hit.

By the time the jets had landed Phil had practically chewed his nails down to the bone from stress. He knew Clint was okay but he had no idea what had happened to him or his mind while he was under the gods control, how many secrets had he let out?

"Agent Coulson" his come came to life in his ear "The hostile has arrived"

Phil snapped back into work mode, pushing his feelings back, he headed to meet up with Fury to plan the next move.

Natasha and the Cap were getting checked out in the infirmary as they watched the Doctor and Clint get rolled in, restraints around there wrists.

"Do you think they will get better?" Tasha asked the Cap

He let a smile drape across his face "Well red we can only hope, we already know Barton is a strong man, time will tell" Steve managed to keep his emotions at bay, keeping Natasha cool.

"Stark seemed pretty insistent that you came here Steve, doesn't he know you can heal yourself? I think he's really warming to you"

Steve's face flushed he had noticed how Stark protected him with Loki but he didn't understand why, Tony knew Steve's history. He sighed, "Why is he though?" he finally asked.

"It's Tony, no one knows what's going on in that mans head," she laughed as she was finally cleared by the SHIELD doctor. She looked over at Clint's bed where he was stirring and walked over.

"Nat?!" he said, he was so happy to see her, even if he still felt clouded

She looked down at his pants noticing the dried stains from Loki's fun earlier and moved the blanket to cover them "Are you okay?" she asked knowing that he would know what she really meant.

"It's all a bit hazy" he lied, he automatically felt a guilt wash across him but he didn't want to admit to being the gods plaything.

Natasha read him like a book, she knew he was lying but let the subject go. He was finally looking like himself, just tired.

"How's Phil doing?" he asked "Nat how many agents did I kill" his face dropped

"Don't! Don't do that to yourself Clint, God's on a war path is not something we are trained for" she said as she released his wrists from the restraints.

"How…how am I back?" he asked as the last of the cloud over his mind retreated

Natasha laughed "Cognitive recalibration" she let a smile sneak across her face "I hit you really hard in the head"

Clint let out a satisfying laugh as he grabbed her hand "Thank you Tasha"

Phil threw open the infirmary doors, so happy to see Clint, he saw his man shuffle up the bed as he walked over "Agent Barton, glad your back" he smiled.

"Thanks Phil, glad to be back, yet again I owe Tasha my life" he smiled as she went to get up to leave them alone.

"Clint you know where I am if you need saving again" she joked as he released her hand and watched her leave.

"You promised to be safe Clint" Phil said as he sat on the bed "I don't think my heart can take it, I wanted to kill Loki but they fuckers immortal!" he ran his hand down Clint's face "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

Clint knew he couldn't tell him what happened, he couldn't let him know that he mind was making him miss the god's cold touch. "I'm fine babe, remember I am trained for this" he smiled.

"We have to figure out what you told Loki, what do you remember?" Phil asked slipping back into work mode so easily.

Clint just closed his eyes, his mind flashing back to him pleasuring Loki, he felt so confused as something in his groin stirred, did he want the God?. "Clint?" his eyes flicked open as the sound of Phil's voice, "What is it? Do you remember something?". Clint shook his head to displace the thoughts of Loki and to respond to Phil. "Okay I have to run some files to Fury, but he said I can stay with you after that" he smiled as he go up kissing Clint's forehead and whispering "I LOVE YOU" into Clint's ear, then heading for the door.

Clint rested his head against the cold wall, picking it up and hitting it back down, 'Why does this always happen to me' he thought, he hit his head harder wanting his memories to go away.

"I don't want you to become a frost monkey again" Tasha said as she stood at the door "I brought you these" she said handing over a clean pair of tactical pants. "You will have to tell someone eventually, you know you cant lie to me Clint" She watched him drop his head in shame " No matter what you know I will always love you goober" she smiled.

"Thanks for the pants Tasha" he said getting up to change, catching a glimpse of his bloody face in the window, a black eye gradually forming. "Why is it always me Tasha, Loki said I was the Avenger's Slut!"

Tasha laughed "Clint Barton the Slut! You know he just said that to upset you. Hell Clint you have only slept with one of the team and that's been pretty long term, unless you've been keeping secrets of how you made Steve scream your name!"

Clint roared with laughter "Darling isn't that your job?" he raised a questioning eyebrow

"Ugh Clint how do I seduce a man trapped in time? You know today he called me Red and it made my insides squirm" She laid across Clint's legs "How is he so oblivious, I bet he's a great fuck" She sat up quickly "Anyway Ahem"

"Jeeze Tasha don't blow a gasket, want me to scope the field for you?" Natasha smiled

"Barton if you turn him gay, so help me god I will put you back in this infirmary!" she joked

"Turn who gay? Do I have competition?" Phil said from the doorway

"Natasha has a school girl crush, and wants me to scope him out" he chuckled, already felling better he stood and went to embrace Phil "Your safe babe, don't worry"

"Ugh Clint you're the worst, Phil is not to know who! Sorry boss Assassin confidentiality" She smiled "Keep me posted" she winked at Clint as she left.

"Have you been cleared yet? We are close to New York and that Doctor keeps calling" Phil said squeezing his arm around Clint's waist.

"Kate? Why?" Clint snapped remembering the kiss

"No! Doctor West silly, I want you to see her more often, I enjoyed bruising you after" Phil said as he tugged on Clint's earlobe with his teeth.

Clint let out a moan, his body craving the attention of his lover. "I think I'm cleared, I mean I'm not a threat anymore" he said picking up his chart reading his past injuries and smirking "Either way according to this I will always bounce back" he smiled putting down the chart and heading towards the door, his hand in Phil's.

Phil smiled "If your sure Barton! Let's go home" he said as he called the jet

'Home' Clint thought 'Can't wait' as his mind drew him back to the feeling of Loki's touch.


	21. Fallout part 1

Loki was pacing in his cell when he heard someone approaching. "Director!" he said "Nice of you to join me"

Fury stepped in front of the god, anger apparent on his face "Loki, did you really think your plan would work?" he questioned.

"Director I know this is just a show for you soldiers" he said gesturing to the camera's " I hope Agent Barton is watching, that man is extraordinary in many ways, Director the things that man's mind holds I wish I could of played with him longer" Loki let an evil smirk dance across his face.

"He's not yours to play with" Fury spat back

"Of course! Because SHIELD has taken such good care of him" Loki laughed "you know as well as I do that Phil is the only reason that he is still here! Good luck with the fallout Director" he said as he sat down on the bench behind him.

"There will be no fallout Loki as you didn't win" Fury spat back and the god just laughed

"Didn't I?" he said

The live video feed was playing on the helicarrier's deck, Steve, Tony, Bruce, Thor and Natasha watched as Fury attempted to get some sense out of the god

"What do you think Loki did to him" Steve whispered to Natasha

Natasha winced at the memory of his stained pants "Played master with his mind, I suppose" she replied knowing that Loki, the trickster wouldn't give up that easy. She made a mental note to keep a close eye on Clint. Steve saw that Natasha was struggling with something and placed his hand over hers and squeezed, watching her face light up from his touch.

Fury had left Loki to stew in his own anger as he headed back up to the deck, seeing all the agents worry when he walked in. "Agent Barton will be fine, Phil and him are already back at Stark tower, he was cleared by our Doctors"

"If he goes all shining on my house I will kill him" Tony piped up

"Loki is known for his tricks, I believe this is simply one" Thor chimed in "We have no need for worry, the Hawk will be fine"

Fury watched the group defend there team mate, until he finally spoke up "Loki is here, I think you all just need to go get some rest, We will keep and eye on Agent Barton as a precaution. Loki will be sent back to Asgard with Thor in the morning. Now all of you go home!"

They all knew this was an order and they were to exhausted to fight it, so they all headed up to the awaiting jet. Steve grabbed Natasha's hand pulling her back from the group.

" , I uh was uh wondering if you would like to grab coffee once we are back in New York" he hesitated "But if not that's fine too"

Natasha face flushed as she smiled at how shy Steve was, she was enjoying watching him squirm." I'd love to Steven" She loved saying his full name "We should probably join the others first though" she said as she kissed his cheek and headed to meet the others.

Steve shook off his nerves and straightened up and headed back to the team, he was still in shock that red had said yes let alone kissed him.

The flight back to Stark tower was full of snoring hero's. Natasha was laid out on Steve, Tony had propped his head up on a parachute and Bruce had fallen asleep on his rolled up jacket, finally all giving in to there need to slumber.

Clint had been laying in there bed wide awake for hours. Every time he closed his eyes Loki was there, on top of him, forcing himself on Clint. He shook his head trying to push that thought out of his mind and snuggled up to Phil hoping his warmth would help.

Phil stirred as he felt Clint's warmth against him "You okay Clint?" he asked his eyes still closed, half asleep as he grabbed Clint's arm and placed it around his chest.

"I'm fine, just cant sleep" he kissed Phil's neck "Go back to sleep baby" Clint felt Phil shift.

"Okay baby…I love you" Phil said as he drifted back to sleep so easily

"I'm gunna need some fucking Ambian to get the fucker out of my head' Clint thought

The jet finally arrived, as it landed Steve woke up smiling at red sleeping on his lap. He gently woke her up "were home" he said as she stretched and sat up.

They all headed into Stark town, going separately into there rooms. Clint heard them all arrive and got out of bed, trying his best not to wake Phil, and went to find Natasha.

Clint walked up to her door and knocked "Nat?" he heard shuffling in the room and a door closing before she slowly opened up "Sorry did I interrupt something" He asked knowing she was hiding something.

She closed her bedroom door behind her "No of course not, are you okay? Its late why aren't you snuggled up to Phil?"

"Can't sleep my mind is racing" he shifted his weight feeling uneasy "Look we can talk tomorrow if I'm interrupting'.

She walked towards the kitchen "Clint I have all the time in the world for you" she smiled handing him a glass of water "spill it"

Clint took a sip of the water and readied himself to tell her a part of what happened "Okay, I cant get Loki out of my head, every time I close my eyes he's there, I can't fully flush him out. I can't tell Phil because it will just upset him. Fuck Nat am I feel like I'm going crazy!"

Natasha sat there silently taking in what her best friend was saying until she finally cleared her throat "Clint this did just happen to you, give it time" she touched his cheek "plus we are all a little crazy, I mean we stand next to superhero's everyday and we are just humans, really well trained humans ha!" she went to the cupboard and grabbed the sleeping pills she had hidden and handed them to Clint. "Take one of these, snuggle up to your man and relax, dude you deserve that much!"

Clint smiled he had never thought about how crazy they were for joining the Avengers in the first place "Your right" he said as he took a pill out of the bottle and handed it back over. "So who are you cuddling up to? Finally managed to bag Rogers?" he joked as he watched her face flush

"For a man stuck in the past he is very gentle" she responded enjoying watching Clint's face drop "Now I should probably head to bed" she forced out a yawn "It's been a long day saving your ass!"

Clint nearly chocked on his water "Going to bed! Yea right you gunna go and deflower the holiest Avenger left!" he couldn't help but laugh "Be gentle Tasha, no 50 shades bullshit!" he stood up swallowing the pill and walking with Natasha back to the bedrooms, draping an arm over her shoulder "Thanks Tasha" he said as she slipped away into her room, allowing Clint to catch a glimpse of Steve's chiseled body sprawled out in her bed.

"Anytime Clint" She smiled as she closed the door, slipping back into bed beside the now sleeping Steve. He rolled over at the movement and embraced her and let out a happy sigh, still sleeping. She kissed his hand and joined him in slumberland.

Clint snuck back into bed as the pill started to kick in, he felt his eyelids getting heavier as he finally fell into a drug helped sleep.

That night all he dreamt about was Loki and his control over Clint, the way he made him work for his release, that leather strap. The way Clint longed for the god to be inside him. He felt his mind tricking him when he heard Loki's voice say "So the Hake misses being my plaything"

When morning finally arrived in New York Phil reluctantly opened his eyes. The bed felt unusually damp, he sat up seeing Clint curled up in the fetal position still asleep, sweat was drenching his pajamas. "Clint? Babe wake up" Phil said gently so not to spook him.

Clint barrel rolled out of bed and up against the wall looking terrified "When is he Phil?" his eyes darting around the room "are you hiding him? Tell me where he is Phil!" his voice getting louder.

Phil was so confused "Who Babe? You were dreaming" he looked at the archer who was now getting to his feet.

"STOP LYING TO ME PHIL" Clint was now yelling "IS THIS SOME SORT OF SICK GAME?"

Phil was taken a back by his lover's anger, but knew he had to get him to calm down "Babe don't be silly, it was just a dream. You need to calm down" he watched as Clint started to pace the room mumbling "Babe its just you and me in here, I promise"

"He was here, I know he was here, I heard him, he was here" Clint kept mumbling. Phil took his distraction as an opportunity to practically tackle him and try and snap him out of it. Clint was fighting Phil but he had all the upper hand by applying all his weight on top of the archer.

"Jarvis call Doctor West, its urgent, Clint's had a breakdown and needs her" Phil said

"Yes sir" JARVIS responded

Steve and Natasha heard the commotion and opened the door, Clint was practically trying to claw off Phil's face when Steve stepped in.

"What is going on Phil?" Steve asked flipping Clint on his front, thus stopping him from striking out.

Phil was bleeding from the scratches to his face "I….I don't know, I woke him up from a nightmare and he wont believe me, he keeps saying I'm hiding him"

"Him?" Steve enquired "Clint I'm here to help you find him. But I need a description" he thought playing along may just help

"That Mother Fucking Bastard LOKI, he's here! I hear him! Now let me go you old FUCKER" he spat

Steve looked at Natasha who was frozen in shock at the doorway "Clint Loki is not here, he is on the helicarrier with Thor, he is going back to Asgard as a prisoner for what he did". By this time Tony and Bruce had joined Natasha in the hall.

"So birdboy had gone crazy, totally called that one" Tony said, feeling Phil's death stare on him.

"Agent Coulson, Doctor West has arrived" JARVIS announced.

"Why don't you do something useful for a change and bring the doctor in" Phil said

Dr. West arrived at the door with Tony, seeing Steve sitting on top of her patient, she took a deep breath in. "May I please have some time with Mr. Barton" she looked around at the group "I will be fine with him alone" She smiled at them as they left.

She picked Clint off the floor, he was still on edge Mr. Barton, do you know who I am, What's going on? Your in a safe place" he sat on the bed.

"Doc, I know he's here, he spoke to me. I was him to leave me alone, but he never will. He marked me as his plaything and now he wont let me or my mind go!" Clint jumped up attacking the air.

"Mr. Barton. The man no longer has control over you, Marked or not you are your own person" She said as she watched him sit back down.

"I'm only human, so easy to break, so easy to control…so easy, that's why he called me the Slut isn't it?" he was struggling with every word "Doc I just wish he had just killed me, Living with the memory is to much!" he sighed.

"Don't be silly, together we can work on you forgetting that, I'm not saying its easy but your worth more than suicide, Think of all the people you have saved as an Avenger!" she tried to calm him down.

"Doc recently I have killed more thank I have saved" She watched him crumple down and start crying "I'm not a good man doc, I keep secrets from the ones I love and I kill people.

She put her hand on his shoulder "No one is perfect, hell I'm far from it but I'm still here" she smiled as she squeezed his shoulder "As for secrets sometimes it helps to tell and outside party which is why I am here"

Clint sniffed "I shouldn't because when I say it…it becomes to real and I have to deal with it"

"Either way ending up like this, and attacking Phil isn't going to get you anywhere" She knew that would bring the realization home.

"Attacking Phil? What? Why would I?" he placed his head in his hands "Doc maybe you should just take me to the loony bin"

Natasha had the first aid kit out on the counter and was cleaning all the scratch marks on Phil's face, looking at the sadness in his eyes, she grabbed his hand "Phil he is going to be okay, you said yourself Dr. West can work wonders" she smiled "You guys will be all luvvy duvvy in no time" Steve passed them both a coffee "She's right Phil" he smiled at her.

"All done" Tasha smiled "you'll be fine in a couple of days, till then stay away from lemons" she joked as she put the first aid kit away and sat next to Steve at the breakfast bar.

"Phil are you okay?" Steve asked looking at Phil

"I guess I'm still in shock, I thought he was okay but clearly Loki still has his hooks in him" he signed "can we ever get a break"

"Hey he's got the best doctor in there, as Natasha said he's gunna be fine" Steve dropped his hand onto Natasha's lap "we all just need some time off".

After the Doctor and Clint talking about Loki and what he did she finally straightened up and said "I'm just going to let the others know your okay, but I am available 24 hours a day, please don't hesitate to call me Clint okay? What you have been through is hard to process and it helps to have a ear"

Clint just nodded as she left the room, he laid back on the bed "Why can't I just have a normal life" he rubbed his eyes "Can I have a month were I don't get kidnapped or attacked" there was a quiet knock at the door.

"Clint? Babe? Can I come in?" Phil quietly asked still unsure of his mindset.

Clint felt horrible, his own boyfriend was afraid of him. Now he knew why Bruce stayed single. "Yea its open" he sat up "I'm so fucking sorry babe" he said scanning Phil's face noticing the scratches "Loki's magic obviously still has some effect on me, maybe I should go back into quarantine" he couldn't look at Phil in the face, he felt so guilty.

"A few scratches wont hurt a top level SHIELD agent" Phil said "As far as quarantine I don't think I can deal with out you again, so I have asked for Thor's help, babe I'm stuck to you like glue and we are all going to help you" he said as he grabbed Clint's hand.

Clint kissed Phil gently making sure to miss the scratches "I'd be a mess with out you"

"Agent Coulson, Mr. Barton I am going to head out but as I've already told Clint, you can both call me at anytime and maybe we can set up a joint session" Dr. West smiled at them both as she walked out of the room.

"I'm hungry" Phil blurted out "Lets go out for breakfast" he grabbed a sweatshirt from the draw "Come on, get showered and we can go" he smiled at Clint who jumped to his feet almost as if he was obeying orders.

"You gunna join me Phil?" he said as the shower turned on.


	22. Fallout part 2

It had been over a month since Kate had heard from Clint, as her fingers dialed his number from memory. She was just wanting to hear his voice, someone who not that long ago was her best and only friend.

The phone rand and rand 'probably out saving the world' she thought

"Hello" Clint picked up, he seemed like he had run for the phone. Kate could hear someone in the background, probably Phil.

She felt a weight, something was telling her not to say anything and just hang up.

"Uh…Hello?" he repeated.

"Hi" Kate practically whispered "Agent Barton its Kate….Kate Bishop" she felt like he had probably forgotten her, as it was clear her number was no longer in his phone.

"Oh uh hi" he responded as the voice in the background urged him to hang up "look I was just about to head out for breakfast, can I call you back?"

"Sure" she said back disappointed as she hung up, she couldn't help but start crying as she knew he wouldn't call back.

As Phil and Clint headed out for breakfast, Clint's mind kept drifting to other places. When they finally ordered his mind hit a jackpot, maybe Kate calling was fate, maybe he could use her to get over Loki.

"Babe?" Phil's voice brought Clint back in the room "Getting lost in there?"

"What? Oh yea sorry" he smiled "Don't worry its me at the drivers wheel" he grabbed Phil's hand "I'm here…so why were you so adamant on us going out for breakfast?"

"Just thought it would be a nice escape" Phil smiled

Clint smiled back as he slipped his phone out of his pocket and texted Kate:

"Working tonight? If not wanna meet up?"

as he hit send the food arrived.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kate felt stupid for calling him but dammit she missed him so much. Her phone buzzed on the table, she was happy to see Clint's name and hit reply:

"Free all night, any plan? K xxx"

Once she hit sent she felt butterflies in her stomach, he was finally willing to see her!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The food went down a treat, the waitress even comped their meals because 'Hero's should never pay' , Clint kissed her on the cheek "Thanks Mama" he said as they walked out.

Phil giggled "I forgot the perks of dating a hero" he smiled as he ran his hand up the inside of Clint's shirt, feeling goose bumps form where he touched "We don't have to go straight home you know" Phil grabbed Clint's hand and dragged him towards Central park.

"Central park?" Clint said as he looked around his SHIELD training kicking in

Phil noticed him surveying the area and grabbed his face "Babe this is supposed to be us relaxing" he kissed him "I mean look, I'm not even in a suit!"

Clint took a moment to take in the view of his lover, wearing an old pair of Clint's jeans and his tattered purple rolling stones hoodie. "Babe do you even own your own clothes" he smiled "I bet you were even born in a suit!"

Phil found a empty patch of grass and sat down patting the grass next to him for Clint to join him. "Maybe I just enjoy your clothes more!" he smiled as he kissed Clint "then again I would prefer them on our bedroom floor" he winked at Clint.

Clint just smiled as his mind allowed the memories of Loki flash back. He lay down on the grass to try and hide the wince on his face. Phil just put his head on Clint's chest and laid against him.

"See Clint" he smiled "Relaxing isn't so hard!" his hand moved up and down Clint's chest, making the archer take a deep breath.

Clint felt his phone buzz in his pocket, as he shifted to get it out of his front pocket, Phil sat up "Mr. popular, I didn't realize I was dating a celebrity" he joked as he laid back down.

He finally saw Kate's reply and his head took him back to the kiss they had months back and how she was so desperate to be loved by him. He finally wrote a response:

"No plan, Your place? 6pm?"

As he hit send he realized that he was planning to actually cheat on Phil, the love of his life, but if it would make Loki go away…it was worth it…Right?

"Babe" Clint finally spoke up "As much as I love this relaxing thing we are doing, I should really be training and doing all my amazing Loki related paperwork that you get to read".

Phil sighed because he knew Clint was right, the pile of work on his desk wasn't getting any smaller. He sat up on his elbows and kissed Clint, not wanting to face the real world. Letting all his want and passion be known through his kiss hoping Clint would give in and let him forget the world for a little longer.

Clint's groin responded to Phil's kiss, even though in the back of his mind he felt Loki watching everything making him pull back suddenly.

"Clint!? Sorry is this too much? Please don't shut me out" Phil was quick with the apology

Clint's face dropped at the reaction from his lover, he ran his hand down his face "Sorry my mind is still a little dodgy, lets get back to Stark tower"

Phil nodded knowing he rushed into it, he stood up putting out a hand to Clint.

They walked back to Stark tower in silence, Clint slipped his hand into Phil's watching him smile from the simple interaction. Before long they were back in the real world, they made it to Phil's office when Clint finally spoke "Thank you for an amazing morning babe, now don't work to hard" he smiled at him as he released his hand and watched him sulk behind his desk.

Clint headed straight for the gym to hopefully work of some of this confusion.

Kate saw the text from Clint and had started a manic house clean, her mind racing, why did he want to suddenly talk? She looked in the mirror automatically hating how she looked and jumped in the shower.

As he worked out his mind ran to dangerous places, his mind open and allowing him to get lost in a world of Loki and Phil. He snapped back to reality when Natasha walked in the door.

"Hey Clint" She smiled as she started stretching

"So my mind is making me want to sleep with Kate" he blurted out

Natasha practically fell over "Uh what! Why?"

"I honestly think it may help me forget everything Loki did" he was hoping she would see his plan.

"That Clint Francis Barton, is the stupidest idea I think I have ever heard" She placed her hands on her hips, showing her anger "You think cheating on the man you love with a woman who has told you she has feelings for you will help you get over what a Asgardian wannabe god did to you? Are you fucking high?" She started tapping her foot in anger " Look I have been your friend for years and I get you don't want to tell me what happened with Loki, but when you talk like this you make me want to knock you out again!"

Clint sighed mainly because he knew she was right, but his head kept pushing it as a good idea. "Nat there isn't much to tell, he took over my mind and saw all my secrets and took advantage of me making me question everything. Now when Phil kisses me all I can think about is Loki" he took a breath trying to read her face. "His touch was so cold it was like ice and electricity entering your body at the same time, I feel like an addict to that feeling, almost like I will always be searching for his touch" he looked at Natasha who just shifted.

"Clint how did you think sleeping with Kate would help in anyway?" She snapped "Phil has been through so much shit for you and yet your willing to throw it all away so fucking easy" she threw down her towel " you walk around like your un fucking touchable, but Clint you're a fucking mess and we are all here picking up your pieces constantly, Grow up Clint" her face was red from yelling, when she finally took a breath and looked at Clint who was clearly shocked by her outburst. "Sorry Clint, you know I don't bullshit you. I have already watched you practically die twice this year, and I'm tired of preparing my goodbyes and watching Phil fall apart.

Clint was in shock but he understood her anger, he never thought how the team had also suffered from his injuries and his disappearing acts. "Nat I…I'm sorry, I guess I never thought about the entire picture. I was selfish" he picked up her towel and handed it back to her "That's why I need you Nat! you can always ground me" he dragged her into a hug.

"Don't got see her Clint, that will kill Phil" she said mid hug, knowing he would listen to her.

Kate looked at the clock, 5:30pm her stomach was already in knots when she decided to go outside for a cigarette, That's when she saw him, he was across the road a bit further down. She couldn't help but stare at him, his arm muscles showing through his shirt like they were trying to escape and the way his jeans hung off his hips as he walked. By the time he reached her she was already hot and bothered.

"That's a dirty habit Doc!" he said as he walked up to her and smiled.

She felt the butterflies going crazy in her stomach "Blame the stress, its not easy being me" she smiled as she put her cigarette out in the ashtray. "How are you, I've missed you" she started "and I am really sorry for everything, I totally overstepped the line there"

Clint hushed her "Lets go inside, a little more private" he smiled

"Phil doesn't know you're here does he?" she asked "Are you trying to make him hate me even more? Why are you even here Clint!" she was getting annoyed as she looked at his blank face, getting hurt by his lies.

'Can I really do this, it could be our secret' he thought 'Do it, it's the right thing Clint'

"Because Kate I'm here to give you something you want" he said as he went in to kiss her.

Kate was shocked by what was happening, was this a joke, she pulled back

"Don't you want me Kate? Well here is your chance, I'm yours to have" he said looking at her straight in the eyes.

"What! But…Phil! And plus last time I checked we bat for the same team" Kate couldn't believe what was going on "Are you having a early midlife crisis?"

Clint let a devilish smile sweep across his face as he pulled her close "Play doctor with me Kate, see me as the man you want, forget everything else" he started kissing down her neck feeling her heart begin to race as his hands moved down to her belt.

'This is wrong' Clint thought, his mind seemed to respond back 'it's the right thing Clint, do it'

"Clint this isn't right!' her breathing fastened "This isn't fair!" she let out a moan as he pushed her back on the bed, and with that she gave in.

Clint felt strange, he knew what he was doing was wrong but something kept pushing him forward. He helped Kate shimmy out of her jeans and then took off his shirt and joined her on the bed leaning on top of her to kiss her.

Kate was going crazy everything she wanted was being laid out in front of her. Her hands were enjoying there chance to discover the muscles on his body. With every touch and every kiss she was getting closer to the edge. She moved her hands down to his belt watching him sit up allowing her to fully remove it from its loops. She took her time undoing his pants as she was expecting to wake up from this dream.

Clint felt a fire in his belly feeding off the passion in the room, he looked down at Loki, he shook his head hoping to make him go away, when a hand touched Clint's chest and that icy feel made his heart race. "Come on Clint isn't this what you want?" Loki said as he removed his top. Clint brushed off his confusion, happy to see the man in front of him, he jumped up practically ripping the rest of his clothes off and preparing himself to fill Loki.

Kate was shocked by Clint's sudden change of pace, but who was she to complain as he jumped back on top of her placing his hand on her clit and moving it in a sensual pattern, Kate couldn't help but moan, clawing at his shoulders as he began kissing down her body towards her vagina.

Clint wanted in everyway to please Loki and when he felt the gods nails dig into his shoulders he moaned "God why can you turn me on so much" he blurted out "Some thing so wrong shouldn't feel this good"

Kate grabbed on to the quilt on the bed as Clint's tongue worked his magic, she wanted to scream his name until her voice was hoarse, when she heard him talking. She opened her eyes as she saw a light blue flash in his eyes. "Clint?" she asked as she watched him ease his throbbing cock into her.

"Oh Fuck!" Kate practically screamed, she had imagined this way to many times; as Clint filled her she already felt so close to orgasm.

Clint held the gods hands down as he felt his cock engulf the mans hole, he began moving faster wanting to hear the god scream his name out of pleasure, the moans pushing him closer and closer to the edge.

"Fuck Clint, Faster, Harder"

The plea's made Clint go insane, pushing himself deeper and harder until he heard his lovers release and joined not long after.

"I knew you were always the slut Hawkeye" Loki laughed " I mean hell you just fucked woman thinking it was me! How sad and pathetic" and with that Loki disappeared and Kate was lying beneath Clint with her eyes closed panting drenched in sweat.

All Clint could do was roll over, his head was killing him, 'what the fuck was that' he thought yet again his mind had pushed him to do the wrong thing thanks to the trickster.

"Clint….I…Uh" Kate panted "uh….wow that's a fuck I hope I get bruises from", she felt him sit up , she looked over at him "Clint? You okay?"

He wanted more than anything to just run out of there, why would he ever think this was a good idea. He grabbed his underwear and jeans and headed for the bathroom, where he spent about 20 minutes staring at himself in the mirror. 'FUCK! What the fuck did I just do!' he thought as he checked his phone, two text messages were on the screen:

Phil <3

'Hey Babe, All my work is done! Can we play now ;)

Love you xxxxx P'

Nat

'Where are you Clint? If you are with her! SO HELP ME GOD!'

'Crap Crap Crap' he threw on his clothes running back into the bedroom searching the room for his top. " Kate I…uh…I have to go…Uh….Thanks for the fuck" he grabbed his shirt off the floor and practically ran to Stark tower dressing on the way, trying to plan his excuse.

Kate didn't even have time to respond, as the door slammed behind Clint. "Thanks for the fuck?" she grabbed her shirt and headed for the bathroom. 'Way to go Kate, used again' she thought as she turned on the shower.


	23. Memories

Clint walked into Stark tower as the guilt was beginning to set in, he had to deal with Natasha at some point.

When the elevator doors opened the television was blaring and Natasha, Phil, Bruce and Steve were all watching a movie. "Hey!" Phil said as he noticed Clint at the doorway, all Clint could do was mouth the word 'Shower' and head for the bathroom 'Fuck why did I think this was a good idea' he thought as his phone buzzed in his pocket.

Kate

'Thanks for the fuck? Clint are you kidding me! Call me!'

Clint just hit delete and turned on the shower, he jumped in letting the water wash away the residue of his wrongdoing. He let the water run over his head and back, helping him relax when he heard the door open. Phil stepped in the shower, joining Clint.

"Where were you hiding" he joked "Going for a night run? Leaving me alone to fantasizing" he smiled at Clint.

Clint laugh feeling so uneasy "Yea I had to clear my head, Loki decided to pay another visit"

Phil's face automatically changed at the mention of Loki's name "Are you okay?" his hands going around Clint's waist "Ever since this morning, I worry!" he kissed his neck.

"I'm fine baby..just dealing with it day by day" he smiled at him trying to focus on the shower. Phil pulled him away from the water and slammed him against the wall, as rough as he could. The kisses were showing his passion as well as his want for Clint.

"I've been thinking about this all day" he whispered in Clint's ear as he began to kiss down the archers chest. Clint was trying to no make this uncomfortable but he felt like Kate's sex scent still lingered on him, so he pulled Phil up into a kiss and got on his knees, changing the plan. Phil's eyes were locked on Clint, his heart racing awaiting the next move.

Clint grabbed his lover's hips, using them to keep him steady and began tracing the shaft and head of his lover's penis with his tongue, feeling him jerk from the sensation. He paid particular attention to the head of his cock watching Phil close his eyes and moan. Clint finally took in Phil's length and began working his magic, feeling his lovers hands grasp on to his hair, regulating his movements, Clint's eyes met Phil's almost like they were asking for his approval, and getting it. Moving faster feeling Phil tense up and release in his mouth, his grip on Clint's hair getting tighter as he swallowed.

Phil was breathing heavily all this attention was making him want to dominate Clint, he tightened his grip on Clint's hair pulling the man off his knees "Up against the way" Phil barked as he pushed his lover roughly towards the wall.

Clint went reeling back trying to catch himself on the wall behind him, but he lost his footing, slipping and smashing his head against the wall. He saw spots before it went black.

As Phil watched Clint fall he tried to catch him but was just to slow. The noise of Clint's head hitting the wall echoed through the bathroom, and Phil's eyes saw the red trail coming from his head as he slid down the wall.

"Clint?" Phil rushed over to his crumpled body, realizing he was bleeding badly.

"Jarvis get Banner and a medical crew" Phil screamed at the AI as he threw on his sweats and scooped up Clint's limp body and covered him with a towel. He ran into the hall "BANNER HELP' he yelled as Clint's limp body was still dripping wet, blood dripping from his head onto Phil's pants.

Natasha a Bruce raced to the screaming Phil "Phil what the fuck happened" Bruce said ushering him towards the medical ward.

"He fell in the shower and there is A LOT of blood, Bruce you're a doctor, you can help right?" Phil carefully placed Clint on the bed, his eyes pleading with Bruce.

"Bruce what do you need?" Natasha finally spoke up

"Natasha just take Phil to clean up while I check on Clint, there is nothing else anyone can do right now" Bruce said looking at the bloodstains on Phil's pants.

Bruce began checking Clint's head wound "Jarvis please show me Clint's SHIELD medical file" he said as the screen next to him came to life with all of Clint's information.

"As requested sir, the medical team has a ETA of 5 minutes" JARVIS announced.

"Thank you Jarvis, I'm going to need to do a head scan, is that possible in this ward?" he asked

"Yes sir the computer to your left is booting up for the necessary scans" JARVIS responded.

Natasha was still standing next to Phil admiring how Banner just seemed at ease in the room. "Come on Phil lets allow Banner to get some work done" she said as she slipped her arm around him and ushered him out of the room.

Outside the room Steve met up with them, helping Tasha catch Phil as he collapsed out of sheer emotional overload. Steve's eyes met Natasha's trying to figure out what was going on, as they carried him to the couch. Steve pulled Natasha to the side just out of Phil's hearing range "Red, what the hell is going on? Why is Phil covered in Blood?" Natasha sighed "Clint's back luck has struck again, he fell and hit his head badly, Bruce is checking for any cranial damage" Steve just nodded.

Bruce was cleaning up the wound on Clint's head as the scan finished "Clint are we going to have to buy you a good luck charm" he said to the unconscious archer.

"Sir the MRI scan looks clear" JARVIS said "Do you still need the medical team?"

"No that's fine Jarvis, I think I can deal with our unlucky archer" Bruce began to bandage up Clint's head and check his pupils reaction with his flashlight.

Phil had curled up on the couch trying to block out the visions of Clint falling playing over and over again, his tears soaking into the couch.

Natasha's heart broke as she watched Phil break down again, He hand went on a search of Steve's hand, squeezing it hoping that she never has to feel like this about him. Bruce finally came out of the medical room, looking at Natasha and Steve. "Clint has no Cranial damage or swelling, we don't know the full extent until he wakes up" Bruce walked up to the couch "Phil, Clint will make a full recovery!"

Natasha sat next to Phil, running her hand across his back trying to calm him down "See Phil he will be fine, he's always been a hard headed son of a bitch" she smiled as Phil lifted his head up.

"Thank you Bruce" Phil said "Can I see him?" he said as he stood up

"Of course" Banner said as he walked with Phil to the medical room " He is stable, we just have to wait for him to wake up" he let a reassuring smile flash on his face.

Phil sat down next to the bed lacing his hand into Clint's "Bruce this is my fault, I'm the reason he fell. Why would I push him! I'm such an idiot!" Phil felt his face flush

Bruce realized what Phil had admitted and how it could affect his job and relationship if the info got in the wrong hands. "Phil he will be fine" he placed his hand on Phil's shoulder "And so will you"

Clint was running through his mind, lost

He couldn't find anything familiar it was almost like he was in someone else's brain, all these memories he couldn't place, until he found his brother.

"Barney what's going on, where am i? why am I running?"

"Brother its time to wake up"


	24. How to please a Captain

As night settled over Stark tower, Natasha and Steve checked on Phil who was stationed at his lover's side.

"Were gunna head to bed, do you need anything?" Natasha asked looking at Phil who had made a makeshift bed out of two chairs/

"You know Jarvis can alert you when he wakes up if you want a better bed" Steve said

"Thank you both but I'm fine, as for my bed, Steve I am forever by his side through thick and thin, Plus I can't sleep in our bed with out him" Phil smiled at them both "Now you two love birds go to bed and I will see you at breakfast" he laughed.

Natasha's face flushed "Goodnight Phil" she turned to leave taking Steve with her.

"Red was I wrong to say that? He seemed angry with me" Steve asked as he opened the bedroom door for her/

"Babe there relationship is unusual, I think Phil never really forgave himself for leaving Clint in Beirut, but them being together is good for the both of them…it's like it keeps them both grounded" she said as she slipped into her nightdress, with her back turned towards Steve.

"How did I get so lucky" Steve blurted out as his eyes were trained on her body. His comments making her turn quickly on the balls of her feet.

"Well Steven you're a very lucky guy" she smiled walking over to where he was sitting, standing over him she kissed him, her red hair falling down from behind her ears and tickling his shoulders. He pulled her down on his lap keeping their kiss going.

"Red I" She pushed him back on the bed "I think" he tried to continue

"God dammit Steven, If you don't shut up and fuck me already"

Steve's face flushed as he felt her go for his pants. She pulled them off with such ease, throwing them of the floor; she kissed his neck and chest, loving that she could feel his heartbeat. Running her hands down his chiseled pecks, her hand stopping on his groin which jumped to life at the touch " Well hello Captain Rogers" she joked

Steve's heart was going insane, her hands were so smooth and gentle as they caressed his skin, he felt so stupid as he has this amazing woman on top of him and all he can think about is how inexperienced he is.

Natasha reached her hand inside his restricting boxers feeling his swollen cock, moving down kissing his chest and slowly moving her hand up and down his shaft, feeling his breathing change.

Steve closed his eyes and let out a moan at her movements, he could hear her breathing pattern change as she sat up readjusting herself to ride the Captain.

Natasha moaned as she was filled with Steve's swollen cock, she took a moment enjoying the feeling before she started slowly moving, focusing on the noises coming from her lover.

Steve couldn't believe what was happening, the feeling of being in Natasha was unlike anything he had ever felt before and she knew exactly what to do to make him explode. Her rhythmic movements making his hands move to her hips, watching her breasts bouncing along to every stride, her hands running along his chest, her nails digging in with every moan, all these things helping them both get closer to the edge.

Natasha loved the fact she could feel Steve watching every move, she sped up her movements on his member feeling it hit her G-spot, she let out a load moan as she began to shake and tense with her climax.

As she tensed keeping her movements going Steve felt the build up before he let out a inhuman groan as he finally released. Natasha was panting as she tolled off him "Well Captain, I'd say mission accomplished" she joked as she watched the man's chest rise and fall.

"I..Fuck…Red! That…was….amazing" Steve finally managed to say, he propped up his head on his hand taking in the view of Natasha's naked body lying next to him as she pulled the bed sheet over them.

"Glad I can make you stutter" she smiled as she laid her head on his chest.

Back in the infirmary Phil had drifted to sleep to the familiar noise of Clint's heart monitor, he began to dream of spending time with his lover, with out the looming worries of the Avengers.

Clint was still lost in his mind, Barney's words repeating over and over "Time to wake up", when he finally found his way out, back to reality,


	25. Giving up

Clint woke in an unfamiliar pace, 'Am I in hospital' he thought as he sat up, his head pounding. He looked over at the man who was asleep on the chair beside him 'A police escort?' he thought as he began removing the heart rate pads from his chest seeing his big scar, his hand running down it, why did he have no memory of this!

The heart rate monitor flat lined waking up Phil, jumping out of his makeshift bed, seeing Clint sitting up "Clint, Babe! Your awake!" he took the hand of his lover "How is your head?".

Clint snatched his hand back "I'm sorry brother but I have no clue who the fuck you are, where is Barney? Where is my brother?" he looked around the room "What happened? Why am I in hospital, with a" he looked Phil up and down "Police escort?"

Phil's brow furrowed "Clint, it's me Phil, Agent Coulson, I'm your handler, your not in hospital your at home in the medical ward of Stark tower" he looked at Clint's face trying to read if he remembered any of this "Jarvis could you please alert Dr. Banner that Clint is awake" he said to the AI.

"Of course Sir" Jarvis responded

Clint jumped at the response, looking around for a person, What was going on! "Uh Phil did you say your name was?" he saw the mans face drop at his comment "Can I please speak with my brother. His name is Barney…Barney Barton, he was probably with me when all this happened, look he's all I've got, I need to know he's okay"

Phil's heart broke; he had read enough of Barton's file to know what Barney had done to Clint and why his lover hated talking about him. Had he really lost all the memories of SHIELD, the Avengers and of him? He finally composed himself "Mr. Barton….You are at Stark tower because you are an Avenger, you fight in a team of hero's" his voice shook "I am your handler and your boyfriend, yesterday you fell and hit your head. Please tell me you remember this!" he looked at Clint who clearly had no idea what he was talking about.

"Look just get my brother, I don't need a fucking bedtime story" he spat back not taking any of Phil's pleas in.

"Clint your brother is dead and has been for years" Phil finally breaking down "You hate Barney, because he betrayed you…You really don't remember?"

By this point Bruce was in the doorway, seeing Phil's face he knew something was up "Agent Barton, good to see you awake"

Clint finally stood up "I don't know who this 'Agent' is but its not me" he turned to Phil "And that half assed lie about Barney wont work, he would never betray me, he's my Blood" Clint headed for the door.

"Clint, Wait!" Phil yelled after him "Look at yourself, you know there are things you can't remember, the bruises on your hips, the long scar on your chest, I'm telling you the truth".

Clint stopped at the doorway "I need to find my brother" he knew the man was right but he wanted to find Barney. After their parents died all they had was each other, he couldn't risk him alone. He walked out into the hall 'What the fuck was this place' he thought as he finally made his way to the elevator.

"Hawkboy you survived again I see" Tony walked over to Clint at the elevator "If I where you I would get rid of the bloody bandages on your head before heading outside, unless you want strange looks"

"Tony….Tony Stark?" Clint couldn't believe his eyes

"Wow bird brain, how hard did you hit your noggin!" Tony slapped his back "where are you headed anyway?"

"I…Uh..Mr. Stark, I need to find my brother, Barney" Clint responded still in shock he was in the same room as Tony Stark, let alone conversing with the man.

"Mr. Stark? What is your deal Clint? When have you ever called me that, as for Barney why do you wanna be near that backstabber?" Tony looked up seeing Bruce and Phil in the hallway "Banner what did you do to bird brain" he asked.

"Clint has amnesia" Bruce said "He doesn't seem to remember anything since his circus days, hence asking you about Barney and clearly fangirling over you Tony" he joked.

Tony placed his arm around the archer, pulling him away from the elevator "So your telling me that the past Hawkboy used to look up to me eh? Ohhhh can we keep him like this? Or are we gunna have to re-teach him everything" Tony sighed "oh god its like Capsicle all over again! Please tell me you know what the Internet is!" he joked.

"Look as much as I appricate your hospitality Mr. Stark my brother…"

"Your brother is dead, Jarvis bring up my biggest fans file on the screen" Tony cut off the archer, getting sick of his constant pining for his brother.

"As you wish sir" Jarvis making Clint jump again

Tony laughed "That would be Jarvis, he runs this house, don't fuck with him or he will eat you alive" Tony couldn't help but tease the man.

"What's a Jarvis?" Clint asked

"I am a Artificial Intelligence program created my Mr. Stark to help him with anything he needs, that also runs the Iron man Suit and multiple Stark Phones" Jarvis responded

"Oh baby you are more than that, with out you Cap wouldn't know how to live" Tony joked

"Cap?" Clint asked looking at the screen as his file flashed up, videos of him fighting next to a red headed woman kept playing on a loop

"Oh we haven't woken them up yet! Banner why would you keep them out of this, this is gold! A bird with no memory" Tony ran to Natasha's room and began banging on the door "Stop having weird sex and come see this"

Phil couldn't deal with all the joking and just locked himself in Clint's room, looking at his side of the bed he began crying. He couldn't imagine not remembering their relationship, they had spent so long together, 5 years; So long they had kept it under the radar, Phil sneaking into Clint's room to spend the night, stealing kisses while on solo missions. He really thought that 5 years would have been a time to celebrate for them, he had even bought a ring, he had planned to propose to him, to tell the world of their love and now all that was ruined because he was to rough during sex!

Phil looked around the room, he got the ring box out of his bedside cabinet and placed it on Clint's pillow with a note that simply said 'For when you remember me'. He grabbed his duffle bag from the closet and headed down the back stairwell and out into the New York Street that was starting to wake up. He looked up at Stark tower as a tear fell down his cheek.

"Goodbye Clint" he said as he walked away


End file.
